The Way Home

On being "unequally yoked"

2006-08-31T21:41:00.000+08:00

I was having an unplanned chat with a friend who's studying in US. And the topic somehow evolved to this - being "unequally yoked". The bible is pretty clear on this, and I don't intend to launch into a theological essay on why one should not be unequally yoked, and what the bible says about this. It's easy to tell someone who's a believer, to not date a pre-believer. What if, the person started dating this person before he/she became a christian? And therefore now, the partner is a pre-believer?

That precisely was the concern in the conversation. The bible is clear yes. But does it mean he breaks up with her because he is now a Christian but she is not? Six years. That's a very long time. Feelings are strong. It's a struggle for both sides. For the guy - should he give up on the relationship because one should not be unequally yoked? Doesn't that mean he's giving up on her salvation? For the girl - when I dated this guy, we shared the same religion. Now suddenly he's of another faith. How can I accept this and where do I go from here?

There are no easy answers. I told him to pray, and ask God for wisdom and for God to speak to His heart on this. I shared a few testimonies from people I know, which I will briefly mention here:

1) Both were pre-believers. The guy found God, accepted Christ. The girl struggled for awhile, tried to visit church. He struggled with what to do. Eventually after some time, the girl received Christ. They should be planning their wedding soon.

2) Both were pre-believers. The girl found God, and was convicted that she shouldn't be unequally yoked. Broke up with the guy. The guy was heart-broken. Some time later, he found God through another friend. Accepted Christ. Through a twist of fate, he met the girl again. They eventually got back together and are now married.

These are happy stories, but there are also those that go the other way.... the boy is a believer, the girl is not. The guy broke up with the girl. On her own, the girl found God, and is now a believer, but they never got back together.

Moral of the story? God works in miraculous ways. We cannot foretell what the ending of the story will be. We can only trust Him. All I know is this. One man can never be another man's saviour. The believing partner cannot save the pre-believing one. Only Jesus can.

I feel that the story below summarises God's heart for us very well. And this was what I shared with my friend as well. Will we hold on to our plastic pearls? Or trade them for the genuine ones that the Father longs to give to us?

Jenny's Pearl Necklace

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!" Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma." As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her piggy bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores. She went to the neighbor, Mrs. McJames, and asked if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother had told her that if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then may I have your pearls?"

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess--the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then will you give me your pearls?"

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay, Honey. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss. A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. When she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you." With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the prized necklace. With the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case. He handed the handsome velvet case to Jenny and told her, "Thank you for giving me your most prized possesion that you even saved for all by yourself. Here Honey, I have this for you also. I wanted to trade you, but I was going to give these to you tonight either way."

As Jenny pryed open the blue velvet box, so nice a thing itself she'd never known, the glistening white sheen of the rich genuine pearls struck her teary eyes.

National Day Parade 2006

2006-08-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

Believe it or not, this is the FIRST time I've actually been to the parade. It's quite an experience I must say, being there in the stadium. The atmosphere was amazing, and one can't help but feel patriotic just seeing the sea of red and white.

Thank God we got in fairly easily, and we got a great view. We were seated in the zone just beside the VIPs! We had some very "onz" motivators trying their best to cheer us on, and get us into the spirit of NDP. We TRIED to particpate by clapping with our "clapper sticks" but they ran out of air so easily, we ended up blowing them up more often than using them. :s

The colours parade was fairly boring, except there was someone who fainted from the Union sector. The performance was not bad really, quite colourful, and interspersed with fireworks. I must say that this year's parade used up quite alot of fireworks. My kiddos were great! They performed in the first item. Of course, we could spot a few who were out-of-line, but to me, they still did a fantastic job!

Looking at the huge crowd there, I can't help but wonder when we will be able to see the entire stadium filled up with Christians in the same way, for a Christian event. Maybe GDOP. That'll really be fantastic.

So that marks the end of NDP 2006. We took 1 hour and 30 minutes to get from the stadium to Kallang MRT! No kidding! Of course, we had very enthusiastic policemen who were cheering us on, telling us to enjoy the night breeze whilst we were stuck in the human traffic jam. :)

Photos are up on multiply.

Trusting in His promises

2006-07-24T18:11:00.000+08:00

I just visited a colleague at hospital. She just had a major operation and was recovering very well. We went there to be a blessing, but ended up being blessed by her immense faith in the Lord.

She shared with us how God saw her through the valley of the shadow of death. How God's promises were the only things that sustained her. How God sent many blessings her way, from people, the operation, the room etc. Her joy permeated through the hospital room. It hardly sounded as if it came from someone who just went through a major operation!

I was reminded of my tendency to whine and to complain, even though the Lord has blessed my life with so much. And here is someone lying in the hospital bed, who may have little to give thanks about, but yet found so much to give thanks for! It put me to great shame.

May we never forget His grace and love upon our lives, no matter what circumstances may be.

Away from home

2006-07-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

It's funny how being away from home can make one more pensive and deliberative. Perhaps it's due to the hectic conference schedule here, that leaves my brain minimal time and space for thought processing. Now that I've time to myself finally after a long crazy day, my brain is starting to process reality.

Many would think that being out of town for work is good, it's like a holiday. In fact, on some days, my day starts at 830am and ends at 1030pm or 11pm even. I'm not complaining as I do count it a blessing to be here, interacting with other music educators from over 74 nations. Just that perhaps being here, has raised many questions in my mind and with that, much uncertainty.

Someone once said that women like certainty. They like to know where they stand. But I guess that's quite true for most people, both male and female. Uncertainty brings on the "trust" question. How much do you trust God whilst threading in the unknown? How much do you believe that He is the author of your future and He will give you the best? In principle and theory that's always easy to answer. But God always gives us choices. And when faced with choices, I am sometimes stumped.

It's tough to go on life bothering about what others think and say of you. Bothering about their opinions and their comments. Sometimes it even seems as if being hardworking and responsible is a sin. You must have an ulterior motive of some sort. Or rather, if your agenda does not flow with mine, then you must be trying something funny. I strive to rid my mind of negative thoughts and feelings, and to continue to think the best of others. But honestly I find it hard. Guess it's my stubborn nature at work once again. People always say to trust what your heart says and that as long as you're true to yourself, you are ok. Maybe the question I'm facing is.... Am I really being true to myself?

I certainly do not want to leave the world being a jack of all trades, but a master of none...

The chronicles of Betta

2006-07-11T18:59:00.000+08:00

Here are some short excerpts of the mating rituals of the three pairs of bettas aka Siamese fighting fish that I'm experimenting with.

Pair 1
Male was placed into breeding tank last Thursday, and the female was released into the plastic separating container last Saturday. The male was immediately interested, and started encircling the tank, and trying to poke at the female. The female seemed interested too, as she kept flaring at the male. Just yesterday, the female was released into the tank. The male reacted almost immediately, chasing the female round and round. Then he slowed down, and try to chase/coax her to the breeding nest. She seemed traumatised, and was perpetually trying to flee from his attempts, and hide under the moss. He will then squirm underneath the moss and chase her upwards. Their behaviour seemed to resemble some male/female human behaviour where the male is extremely excited and is saying, "Let's just get on with it!" whilst the female is saying, "No! I barely know you!"

Anyway, I went into the lab today and was rewarded with the sight of the two of them spawning. The female was docilely stationary beneath the nest, whilst the male wraps his fins around her and squeezes out the eggs and fertilises them, then picking up the eggs in his mouth, gulping air, and spitting the eggs into the bubble nest. The process kept repeating, with the female helping the male pick up eggs occassionally, until the female was depleted of eggs. Then the male tried to kill her, and I decided it was time to remove her.

It'd be two days before I know if the spawn is successful. Hopefully it is then I'll see baby bettas. Any takers?

Updates on pair 2 and 3 to follow...

People who need people

2006-07-07T09:54:00.000+08:00

People,
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world
We're children needing other children
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside
Acting more like children than children

Lovers
Are very special people
They're the luckiest people in the world
With one person,
One very special person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you are half now youre whole
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person who needs people
People, people who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world.

With one person
One very special person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you are half now youre whole
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person who needs people
People, people who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world.

Peeve on taxis part 2

2006-07-04T17:05:00.000+08:00

IT IS confirmed: Taxi fares are going up next Monday.
Prompted by rocketing fuel costs, Singapore's largest taxi operator ComfortDelGro is increasing its flag down fare by 10 cents to $2.50 for regular taxis - the first hike in 12 years - and by 20 cents to $2.80 for Mercedes cabs.

It is also doubling the $1 peak period surcharge to $2 and will start the morning peak period a half-hour earlier, at 7am instead of 7.30am.

And every 10 cents racked up on the meter will carry passengers over a shorter distance - 210m instead of the current 225m on trips of 10km or less. After 10km, 10 cents will be charged for every 175m instead of 200m now.

Based on an average 9km trip during off-peak hours, passengers will pay about 5 per cent more, and on a 20km trip, about 8 per cent more. During peak hours, the increases for these trips range from 13 per cent to 15 per cent.
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ARRGH. My peeves on taxis just increased. ARRGH. Someone buy me a car.... enough said.

United by world cup

2006-07-01T09:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night saw extreme unitedness from Mer, JonQ, Ian and myself. United in one purpose - cheering Germany on. We were chatting online whilst watching the match, and groaning and Germany's sub-standard performance during the first half. We shared common devastation when Argentina kicked in the first goal 4 minutes after the second half, and went hysteric when Klose matched the second goal some time later. Mer was commenting that we were united by world cup. Maybe so. It doesn't take much to be united in this sense. You just need to be on the same side. Supporting the same team. And of course, you'd had to bother about watching Soccer in the first place.

Weirdly some people thought that the only reason I was watching the match was because I betted. Oh come on. I never bet. Not in my life. I had to tell those jokers that I watched the Japan/Korea world cup as well, and this was NOT the first time I was watching soccer. I am just not fanatical enough to stay up late to watch those 3am matches, and I do not have cable at home.

Back to the topic of unity. What then causes people to be united? What causes unity? To be united in a common cause? Then you need a stated purpose/cause first right? In order for people to be united. If there is no goal, no purpose, no apparent cause, people will not be united. There needs to be a factor or factors to gel people together. Something which they believe strongly in. Only then, will they have the passion to unite together in support for that which they believe in.

Peeves on Taxis

2006-06-30T20:58:00.000+08:00

You'd think that ever since we had the new taxi companies emerging taxis would have been more readily available. In fact, that was the rationale for having a new fleet of taxis, and new operators. But lately, or is it just me, taxis seem to be rather scarce. Oh sure, you see them around. But they zoom past you even when they're empty or when the blue light is litted up. Reason? They're ON CALL, or they're waiting to be on call.

Well, I can hardly blame them. During peak hours, the "on call" surcharge is $4 for some companies. Especially after 10pm, when company employees start to be able to claim for their transport home, taxis frequently not pick up passengers, but wait for calls. Those who are desperate for cabs, have little choice but to pick up the phone and dial the hotline.

I wonder if there'd be a day where taxis will not be able to be flagged down, but everyone will be forced to call for a cab. Seriously, that day may come. With this phenomenal arising, we can have 10 more taxi companies, but it makes no difference to the scenario on the availability of cabs. Personally I find this very irritating. Maybe because I'm stingy, and don't see the point of paying $4 extra for a cab ride that typically costs between $5 - 7. But sometimes we're left with little choice, especially if you're rushing to work and you're running late. Why do we feed this "habit"? If less people call for cabs, the taxi drivers will probably realise that they make better money by picking up passengers along streets.

I've had many a taxi driver complain about waiting in vain for passengers who dialed for a cab. Reason? One dials for a cab, and sees a free cab, and so choose to take the free one instead. After all, besides the issue of conscience, one has no obligation lawfully to wait for the dialed cab. Or worse, some people may call all the taxi companies, and see which cab arrives first. Guess that's the risk the drivers have to take, if they want to earn that $4 so much.

I don't blame them. If I were a taxi driver, I might be like that too. Or maybe, I'd weigh the pros and cons. On second thought, maybe I should just buy a car. :(

Life on a train

2006-06-24T00:11:00.000+08:00

Life is like a train ride it read. We get on, we ride, we get off. We get back on and ride some more. There are accidents and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.

When we are born we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents.

Sadly this is far from the truth, Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them. They too have journeys they must complete . We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.

There are others who board the train who eventually become very important to us in turn. Those people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances whom we will learn to love and cherish.

Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along. Others will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey. Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.

Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off. Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever traveled along with you or ever crossed your path…

We will sometimes be upset that some passengers whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own. Then again, there is nothing that says we cant seek them out anyway. Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken.

Thats okay everyones journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes.

We must strive to make the best of it no matter what…

We must constantly strive to understand out travel companions and look for the best in everyone.

Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.

We too may vacillate, or hesitate every trip hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding.

The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come. Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.

I know I will be sad to make my final stop. My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those I am close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I am certain that one day I will get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They will all be carrying baggage…most of which they did not have when the first got on the train.

I will be glad to see them again, I will also be glad to have contributed to their baggage… and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.

We are all on this train ride together. Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can right up until we can make the final stop and the leave the train for the last time.

Heartstrings

2006-06-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

There never was a story
To remember things by
Just a passing advert
In my walk of life

There ain’t much impressions
To remember you by
Yet your heartbeat still beats
Faintly within mine

There are no words to describe
The one I’ve hardly known
Just ties that can’t be severed
No matter how hard I’ve tried

There isn’t much hope left
Only that you’d be safe
That God will watch over you
Wherever your wings take

There never was a chance
To call you by your name
Only hope that one day I’ll be able
To say it face to face

The essence of mentoring

2006-06-09T16:25:00.000+08:00

This is taken from some parts of an article written by Pastor Steve

To show what the Father is like is the primary goal of mentoring. The life of a mentor should glorify God. Those who are being mentored must see the life of Jesus lived out in the mentor. This is far more important than learning chord progressions, vocal techniques, or song selection. The mentor must lead his disciple to the Father. He does this not only by how he leads worship and what he says, but also how he lives.

A mentor (or any believer for that matter) should have the Father's will at the center of his life. He must not only know the Father's will but have the Father's heart. Knowing the Father's will and having the Father's heart only comes through intimate relationship with the Father. Intimacy is only accomplished by spending time with the Father. Many times in the gospels we read where Jesus drew himself away from ministry to spend time with Father. A mentor must be careful not to allow ministry to take the place of intimacy. When ministry begins to take the place of relationship or intimacy with the Father, the mentor will have a tendency to draw others to himself instead of God.

As mentors we miss the mark if we make disciples of ourselves. Our goal is make disciples of Jesus. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "Imitate me as I imitate Christ." (1 Corinthians 11:1) Jesus always did what pleased the Father. (John 8:29) He knew what pleased the Father because of his relationship with him. We must imitate Christ so that those we lead will see Him.

The fix humans are in

2006-06-03T11:26:00.000+08:00

Exerpt from Mere Christianity

"And it is no use either saying that if there is a God of that sort - an impersonal absolute goodness - then you do not like Him and are not going to bother about Him. For the trouble is one part of you is on His side and really agrees with His disapproval of human greed and trickery and exploitation. You may want Him to make an exception in your own case, to let you off this one time; but you know at bottom that unless the power behind the world really and unalterably detests that sort of behaviour, then He cannot be good. On the other hand, we know that if there does exist an absolute goodness it must hate most of what we do. This is the terrible fix we are in. If the universe is not governed by an absolute goodness, then all our efforts are in the long run hopeless. But if it is, then we are making ourselves enemies to that goodness every day, and are not in the least likely to do any better tomorrow, and so our case is hopeless again. We cannot do without it, and we cannot do with it. God is the only comfort, He is also the supreme terror: the thing we most need and the thing we most want to hide from. He is our only possible ally, and we have made ourselves His enemies. Some people talk as if meeting the gaze of absolute goodness would be fun. They need to think again. They are still only playing with religion. Goodness is either the great safety or the great danger - according to the way you react to it. And we have reacted the wrong way. "

Bad news

2006-05-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

This week seems to be flooded with bad news, negative news, bad news, negative news. I lost count of how many. From serious ones to minor ones, from those that do not directly concern me to those that directly concern me. Overdosed. If you have any more bad news for the week, please tell me next week. I'd appreciate that.

There has been 1001 prayer requests from all over. It's apparent that Mr S.A. Tan is actively on the prowl, especially the days leading up to GDOP. We really need to be on the alert. That being said, I'm convicted that I haven't quite prayed enough for the whole GDOP. Really need to.

Right now detachment seems like the nicest gift. I just wanna sit at a coffee joint and stone, drink my nice nice ice mocha, or sit in a cinema and laugh to a stupid and brainless comedy. That'd be nice nice nice. ;)

I think I should just go and sleep...

Free

2006-05-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

Free- Corrinne May

I see the morning glory
It winds upon the tree
It tells the untold story of how things were meant to be
You saw the universe
Caught up in desperate dreams
You came and changed the ending
Changed it to save my fate
You led the revolution
You left your legacy
Embraced the struggle
in the face of mortality
I know I'm not alone in this
Help me believe

I can be free
I can be free from this place
Beautiful healer
Beautiful grace
Help me to see
Everything fall into place
Wake me from dreaming
No more deceiving
Break these chains

It's still the same old story
This great divide
Between the want and waste
And all the hunger inside
I heard the news today
Now I'm trying to find my place
I'm just a single voice
What can I do to erase

All this misunderstanding
All this anarchy
Six degrees of separation
Sometimes it's so hard to see
That we are not alone in this
I need to believe

I can be free
I can be free from this place
Beautiful healer
Beautiful grace
Help me to see
Everything fall into place
Wake me from dreaming
No more deceiving
Break these chains

Furniture shopping

2006-05-30T20:38:00.000+08:00

Finally bought the long over-dued table for my room. Spent so much time waiting at IKEA even though I had already decided on my purchase and the accessories. Keep getting intercepted by other customers, and there was only ONE sales personnel for the entire section. Kinda pathetic. Decided to spare the trouble, and pay the 5% assembly charge. Never was fantastic in self-assembly projects even though I do own a hand-drill. Haha.

Now the next feat is to remove the existing table from my room by tomorrow, and to shift the existing computer away. If nothing goes wrong, hopefully the new comp can be up by Saturday. That's presuming my attempts at putting together my new comp work. Shouldn't be that bad really. :-p

Life Story Designs

2006-05-27T15:30:00.000+08:00

Had a free afternoon since plans to rescape the fish tank fell through. Decided to update my website instead. So it's somewhat ressurected. :)

Worth dying for

2006-05-26T20:46:00.000+08:00

This is a devotion I read from crosswalk today. It touched my heart so I'm sharing it here.

Written by Glynnis Whitwer

Last fall, my 14-year-old son Josh, emailed me an article he found on a website. It was about a Christian in China who was persecuted to the point of death for his faith. There wasn’t any personal note from my son, just the article. I read it, was moved and didn’t think much else about it.

Several months later, a magazine arrived in the mail addressed to Josh. It was from the organization Voice of the Martyrs. I remembered the emailed article and connected the dots. Obviously, this website interested my son.

When Josh came home from school, I showed him the magazine and asked, “Why are you interested in this?” I thought perhaps he’d discussed it at youth group or Young Life.

Without a pause, and with sincerity shining from his young face, he answered, “I’ve always wanted to be a martyr.”

My heart started to thud and my insides twisted. This was not what I expected to hear. My mind raced frantically, trying to make sense of his answer. Surely, I reasoned, he doesn’t know what a martyr is. Hoping my assumption was true, I asked “Do you know what a martyr is?”

“Yes,” he replied, “someone who’s willing to die for his faith. I want that kind of faith.”

After recovering from the shock of his answer, and battling the fear of a mother’s heart, God revealed something to me about my son’s desire to be a martyr. It’s not that my son wants to die, but that he’s found something worth dying for.

At 14, Josh looks around him and sees people pursuing things that are meaningless. He’s watched friends search for happiness in popularity, music, drinking, being rebellious and disrespectful. Even his young mind can tell none of these things are worth dying for.

But many years ago, my son met Jesus. And when he did, Josh discovered something that mattered … Someone worth dying for.

I believe God’s eyes roam the earth looking for a child of His whose faith burns in her chest … who loves Jesus Christ with such passion, that sacrifice for His sake is an honor. The first believers were trained to suffer for Christ’s sake, while many today are trained to be happy and comfortable in their faith.

The call is loud and clear – Jesus is worth living and dying for. Jesus is worth living life to the fullest. Jesus is worth dying to self-centered desires. Jesus is worth living as if every day could be our last. Jesus is worth dying to a life that is all about us.

Jesus is worth it all. Josh got this right. Do we?

Thoughts from the afternoon

2006-05-26T18:57:00.000+08:00

I was sick today but still went for a music forum in the afternoon. The bulk of it was "airy fairy", good ideas, but difficult to implement on a concrete level. There were interesting suggestions though, that were worth a try. Discussions like..."What IS music?" Can there ever be a definition of it? Music is anything that is "pleasant sounding"? Then what is "pleasant"? Again, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder ain't it? What is pleasant to me, may be noise to you. Perhaps that's why, the genres of music ever seem to be increasing.

Why is it that you listen to the "type" of music that you're listening? Did someone influence you? Was it love at first hearing? Or perhaps, an acquired taste. Can one ever be "trained" to like music that one intially dislikes? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Ramblings... more ramblings...

At one point of time, I was feeling fairly inspired, and proceeded to scribble ideas for music class next semester. Possible projects, lesson objectives. Suddenly I was struck by the amount of good stuff to do... possible teaching material and concepts that I would love the students to grasp, but the immense lack of time I was faced with. I couldn't possibly do ALL that I want to do in the short amount of time given to me.

It led me to ponder about life. Isn't that often times the situation we're faced with? Too many things to do, to learn, yet so little time. Guess we then have to sit down and think, like I had to with my curriculum, on what is MAJOR. To major on the major. Many things are good, yes. But what is important for this season of time? What are your objectives? What do you hope to achieve at the end of this year, this season?

Many things to do, so little time. What is important? I've spent many seasons of life doing what I felt was important. Only to realise after time that they were perhaps just distractions. A chasing of the wind. Hopefully this time round, it would be different.

And yes... the holidays are finally here.

2006-05-20T09:44:00.000+08:00

Article by Van Walton

Key Verse: 1 Peter 4:12, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you.” (NAS)

Being a school teacher, I am familiar with testing. It is what I do. I teach. I test. I correct papers. If my students earn a good grade I assume they prepared. If they perform poorly, I am convinced they chose to slack off. Because of my familiarity with testing you would think that I know how to prepare, but I have learned that I am a poor tester. I perform poorly for several reasons. Sometimes I believe there is nothing I can do to get ready for a tough exam. Other times I talk myself into accepting the idea that no matter how hard I try, I will never measure up. Often I am just lazy and prefer participating in the fun and easy, rather than concentrating on the challenging and difficult.

I retired from the classroom several years ago and, even before that, I stopped going to school. I have put tests behind me. Short of the ever-recurring, I-forgot-to-set-the-alarm-and-am-running-in-my-pajamas-to-my-physics-final nightmare, exams are a thing of the past, or so I thought.

Recently I found myself in the classroom, sitting at a desk, pen in hand, blank paper before me … Well, not exactly. The conventional classroom had been replaced by a difficult situation, surrounded by too many negative possibilities. Although not sitting at a desk, I had been put in a hard and contemplative position; my tools were my head and heart instead of pen and paper. I faced a very difficult exam, a trial of sorts, and I was failing, miserably. I struggled, searching for the right answer.

The greatest difference between an academic exam and a spiritual test is the teacher. In the halls of academia the student is all alone to pass or fail. Spiritual trials always offer help, assistance from the Rabbi, whose name is Jesus. When life’s tests are hard, I turn to my Teacher.

Once I had a chance to sit with Jesus and understand where my weaknesses could be found, I realized a few things about preparedness. The teacher in me would like to share with you what the Rabbi taught me. Maybe these hints will be helpful for you the next time you face a spiritual test.

Realize that life is a series of tests, just like school. Real life is about learning our lessons so we can be prepared for the test. You might ask, “How can I prepare?”

Report to class regularly.
· Read your Bible.
· Learn what the Scripture means and how it applies to your life.
· Memorize.

Use Study Hall wisely.
· Waiting for the answer to come is not down time - it is the study hall of life.
· While in the 'wait' room or ‘study hall’ prepare and practice for the next tests. What we do while we wait determines the outcome of our test.

Get tutoring in areas of weakness.
· Pray, developing a deep relationship with Jesus, the Teacher.
· Listen until you hear the answers to your questions.

Practice whenever possible.
· Review regularly what you learn.
· Study groups are necessary for accountability and success.

When the day of the test arrives, as it surely will, make sure to be totally present. Many times in the Bible, God calls His servant, just like roll call, before He gives the test. Be ready to raise your hand and respond, “Here I am.” (Genesis 22:1)

Be comforted with the fact that God believes in re-tests. We don't have to live with the “F” of Failure or even an average grade of a "C" for just plain Common. God is into perfecting us. He wants to give a “B” when we do our Best or an "A” when we rise Above the world. I want my final grade to be A+. May my life be All About the Almighty. Unfortunately we have to take the same test many times before we get the ever-coveted A. Always remember, God wants to say, "Well done my faithful one."

When the test is over at the end of the day – I want to know I did my best. I want God to be pleased with me.

Farewells

2006-05-17T22:38:00.000+08:00

... are often hard to say.

Just sent off a dear sister at the airport. Though the atmosphere was cheery, and everyone was laughing and joyful, there was a pang of sadness when she walked in.

Happy that she's going to be reunited with her hubby, though we'll definitely miss her jokes, nonsense and wit.

I said a prayer for you today and know God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart although He spoke no word.
I didn't ask for wealth or fame, I knew you wouldn't mind.
I asked Him to send treasurers of a far more lasting kind.
I asked that He'd be near you at the start of each new day.
To grant you health and blessings and friends to share your way.
I asked for happiness for you in all things great and small.
But it was for His loving care I prayed the most of all.

Will you love Jesus more

2006-05-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

CG had a farewell BBQ for our dear sister Jeanette yesterday. Well actually, she provided the food. Hahaha. But we sang the song below for her. Though we were really lousy with the singing, I sure hope the lyrics ministered. It's a reminder to all of us that ultimately, our focus should be on our Lord Jesus. And yes, there's nothing more I hope except that you will love Jesus more.

Will you love Jesus more

I feel quite sure if I did my best, I could maybe impress you
With tender words and harmony; a clever rhyme or two
But if all I've done in the time we've shared
Is to turn your eyes on me
Then I failed in what I've been called to do
There's someone else I want you to see

Will you love Jesus more when we go our different ways?
When this moment is a memory, will you remember His face?
Will you look back and realise
You sensed His love more than you did before?
I pray for nothing less than for you to love Jesus more.

I'd like to keep these memories in frames of gold and silver
And reminisce a year from now about the smiles we've shared
But above all else I hope you will come
To know the Father's Love (God's Love)
And when you see the Lord face to face
You'll hear him say "well done"

What cannot be uttered

2006-05-02T09:14:00.000+08:00

"Likewise also the Spirit helpeth our infirmities; for we know not what to pray for as we ought; but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God" (Rom. 8:26, 27).

This is the deep mystery of prayer. This is the delicate divine mechanism which words cannot interpret, and which theology cannot explain, but which the humblest believer knows even when he does not understand.

Oh, the burdens that we love to bear and cannot understand! Oh, the inarticulate out-reachings of our hearts for things we cannot comprehend! And yet we know they are an echo from the throne and a whisper from the heart of God. It is often a groan rather than a song, a burden rather than a buoyant wing. But it is a blessed burden, and it is a groan whose undertone is praise and unutterable joy. It is "a groaning which cannot be uttered." We could not ourselves express it always, and sometimes we do not understand any more than that God is praying in us, for something that needs His touch and that He understands.

And so we can just pour out the fullness of our heart, the burden of our spirit, the sorrow that crushes us, and know that He hears, He loves, He understands, He receives; and He separates from our prayer all that is imperfect, ignorant and wrong, and presents the rest, with the incense of the great High Priest, before the throne on high; and our prayer is heard, accepted and answered in His name. --A. B. Simpson

It is not necessary to be always speaking to God or always hearing from God, to have communion with Him; there is an inarticulate fellowship more sweet than words. The little child can sit all day long beside its busy mother and, although few words are spoken on either side, and both are busy, the one at his absorbing play, the other at her engrossing work, yet both are in perfect fellowship. He knows that she is there, and she knows that he is all right. So the saint and the Saviour can go on for hours in the silent fellowship of love, and he be busy about the most common things, and yet conscious that every little thing he does is touched with the complexion of His presence, and the sense of His approval and blessing.

And then, when pressed with burdens and troubles too complicated to put into words and too mysterious to tell or understand, how sweet it is to fall back into His blessed arms, and just sob out the sorrow that we cannot speak!

- Adapted from Streams in the desert

When God Ran

2006-04-29T09:34:00.000+08:00

The song came to my mind while I was pondering about the upcoming youth camp. I first heard this song many many years ago, as a youth, wondering about the meaning of "The Father's heart of God". Hopefully this song will be able to minister to many in that search.

When God Ran

Almighty God,
The Great I Am
Immoveable Rock,
Omnipotent powerful

Awesome Lord,
Victorious Warrior
Commanding King of Kings
Mighty Conquerer,

And the only time,
the only time I ever saw Him run
Was when

He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left Home,
I knew I'd broken His heart
I wondered if
Things could ever be the same,

Then one night,
I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road, ahead I could see
It's the only time,
the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise, He brought me to my knees
When God ran
I saw Him run to me
And then I ran to Him

Instrumental Bridge

Holy God, Righteous One
Who turned my way
Now I know, He's been waiting
For this day

{Repeat Chorus}

And then He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
I felt His love for me again

{Repeat Chorus}

He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said Son, He said Son, My Son!
Do you know I still love you
oohhh...He ran to me
When God ran

Betta Imbellis

2006-04-16T14:07:00.000+08:00

Introducing the new fish in my collection: The Betta Imbellis, otherwise known as the peaceful betta. It's one of the many species of wild bettas. This one, I believe, is a male.

I've yet to name the fish. A cheeky side of me half feel like naming the fish.."PUFF". Do you think it will suffer from an identity crisis? :p

Fishermen

2006-04-14T21:16:00.000+08:00

I went for a talk some time this week, where this scientist spoke of her "hard life" whilst she was doing her PhD. Some where in her talk, she spoke of fishermen, and the hard life they led. (She's a marine biologist.) I was actually dosing off, but woke up in time to hear her say, "Fishermen lead a very hard life. It's a very tough occupation. Rain or shine, they have to go out to fish. Whatever the environment condition, they go out to fish. They cannot just say, OH I'm tired today and so I'm not going out! Because then, they'd have nothing to sell for the day."

That made me think. Jesus called us to be "fishers of men". Not just fishermen but fishers of men. Shouldn't we be "fishing" rain, or shine, no matter the circumstance, no matter the environment condition? It's not an easy calling, just as it's not an easy life. Fishermen also feel discouraged when they receive no catch, just as we feel discouraged when we try to "fish", but catch nothing. But just as fishermen persist through hardship, we need to persist through rejection, through hard times, till we finally obtain that "big catch" of souls for the heavenly kingdom.

What a privilege to be called fishers of men!

This too shall pass

2006-04-12T23:32:00.000+08:00

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be-

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me-

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too-

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains
That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear-
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

~ Helen Steiner Rice ~

My abnormal goldfish

2006-04-09T20:45:00.000+08:00

Got home yesterday to witness a peculiar sight. My goldfish had his mouth gaping open, and in his mouth was what suspiciously looked like a TAIL. Yes.. a TAIL. Bear in mind that goldfish are suppposed to eat PELLETS, not fish. I studied closer, to my goldfish who was trying to swim around desperately, struggling to get rid of the thing in his mouth. Yup, he swallowed an oto, a small sucker fish.

Bah. Took a net, caught the fish, and tried to pull the oto out of his mouth. He didn't cooperate, tried to swallow whilst I was trying to pull. He struggled, and managed to get out of the net. Arrgh. Repeat the procedure. Used my hands this time. I never knew it took so much strength to pull the semi-dead oto out of his mouth. Goldie finally got the fish out of his system, but the semi-chewed up oto, was still struggling to live. Yes, it actually was still alive. It looked kinda gross, so I decided to euthanize it.

Sheesh. Why can't my fish behave normally? Now now, don't tell me they resemble the owner....

A burdened heart

2006-04-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

I wondered why my heart felt so heavy those few nights ago. Why I prayed and all I could do was to weep tears that I cannot explain. I didn't really think it was because of you. After all, it has been a long time since we spoke.

Your message took me by surprise. I have never asked you about your walk. Not a long time. I knew the life you were leading. It never crossed my mind that you'd ask me to pray. Yet when that message came, I knew you were in trouble. Yet you refused to say. You just said to pray for you.

I don't know how to explain the feeling of knowing that someone I care deeply about is in serious trouble, but yet I cannot do anything. I don't even know the severity of the situation you're in. You're so far away. I have no means to reach you.

If you ever see this, know that I'm praying for you. Know that there's no problem too big that God cannot solve. Know that even if you have made a mortal mistake, there's always a turning back. Do not despise life. Do not despise the gift that has been given to you.

Be strong, you need to be... Though we may be separated by waters and lands, my thoughts are still with you. Take care...

Everything in its time

2006-04-01T15:52:00.000+08:00

I was listening to this Corrinne May song. Found the lyrics rather meaningful. Hopefully non-christians who hear this song will be ministered to as well.
-------------------------------------
Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long til my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and i try to pray
in the silence i can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like that i'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
But i'm stubborn in the things i believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One i still cant see
A little surprise, like your love in your life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Conquering garageband

2006-04-01T14:50:00.000+08:00

I spent the morning trying to figure out how to add new software instruments to garageband. Seriously didn't feel like paying $198 for the jampack, so was wondering if there were ways to go about it. I was specifically hunting for Chinese instruments and found some er hu patches. Well and good. Next problem. How does one put it into GB?

Happy to report that there are ways. EXS files can be incorporated into GB's sampler library. Of course, you need the audio files to go with it. There are several free sources online. Not a tremendous amount, but well, they're free and they sound good so who's complaining? The process is a little tedious though, but once you get used to it, it's quite fast.

The next method is by adding SF2 files, otherwise known as sound files. That was how i managed to get my er hu sounds into GB. They sound quite cool. They even have up stroke, bow down, tremolo, pizzacato etc. All FREE. The catch is, a soundfont reader/editor programme is required to read soundfonts, and translate them into garageband. Found a shareware version on the net. Free to use, but only for the register of C4 to C5. It sounded rather good then, so I bought the full version online. It's quite affordable, probably 20 plus bucks (Sing), and enables you to utilise the wide array of soundfonts on the net!

So I'm happy to report that I've added about 20 new software instruments to my garageband. Now.... the issue is to find time to experiment with it.

Oh, and people nuts about loops? There are loads of free ones out there too. :)

Need help in adding software instruments, talk to me and I might help you... for a small fee. Lol. Or a mocha rumba frap....

Flower in the rain

2006-03-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

You are the One; there's no one else
Who lifts me up
And gives me water from the well
But there's a hole
That seems to drain it all away
And once again I'm left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out

CHORUS:
So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain

The evil wind, it blows a storm
To rock my world
Just when I think I'm safe and warm
I'm led astray far too easily
It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong
Until I know I can't go on

CHORUS

Lord, You have searched me
And know when I sleep and when I rise
You're familiar with all my ways
Even the darkness will shine
Like the day
When you look into my heart

Trials

2006-03-26T18:12:00.000+08:00

Not yet tribulations, but trials of a different sort. Sometimes, when all the problems seem to occur at the same time, your thinking is clouded, and you cannot think straight. Maybe that's my state of mind now. I can't think straight. It's been a very crazy week. I haven't had a more emotionally strenuous week than this week in a long while. Work was crazy, not the workload portion, more of the dealing with people portion. Family side was another mad craze.

I am not a confrontational sort of person. But I seem to keep running into situations whereby I had to state my ground. Training perhaps?

I am still trying to keep my head above the ground. Trying to think straight so that I won't make the wrong decisions and live to regret them. But it's tough. Especially when emotions come to play. When people start using guilt trips on you, it affects your thinking faculty.

Praying that I will be able to stand strong, and do what He wants me to do. Currently I'm finding hard to stand my ground. Help me to trust You more Lord...

Girls' night out

2006-03-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

Whenever I meet this bunch of jie meis, I'm always very thankful to God for sustaining our friendship all these years, that it stood the test of time. This bunch has been there for me through happy times, through rough times, and I dare say that we've been there for each other.

Well news has it that one of the girls is tying the knot end of this year, just a couple of days after my birthday. Haha. And we're all going to be her "jie meis"! I've warned her to tell the prospective groom that he better get very very garang brothers to save him, and to be really generous with the ang paos! :)

But well, I'm really happy that she has finally found someone to settle down with. Glad to see the blissful look on her face. Now I better start losing weight or I won't be able to fit into a nice dress at the end of the year. Haha... I'm supposed to be CN (Chief negotiator)? Shall start scheming soon.

Silent cry

2006-03-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

I just read a few poems written by this girl I barely know. I know who she is, but she probably doesn't know who I am. Read the poems written by her when she was 13. She is now 15, or maybe 16. She's what people will term "a wreck". But reading the poems that she wrote 3 years ago sent chills down my spines. They were obviously written by someone who was terribly broken and scarred, someone who was crying out for help, through her poetry. Many read the poetry, but I don't think anyone paid attention to the cry behind the words. And there she remains now, in a wreck that she probably does not know how to get out of.

I wonder how often we seem oblivious to the cries of help around us. How we are so caught up in our own world to pay attention to the hurting souls around us. Maybe we ought to be more sensitive... to the silent cry.

Songs in the morning

2006-03-15T23:10:00.000+08:00

In the silence was written quite awhile ago, but it was brought to mind during morning QT a few days ago... hopefully I'll have time to record it before the week ends, and the craziness of school starts.

Verse:
In the silence I’ll wait for You
Hear You speak, hear You speak
Father show me what’s on Your heart
On Your heart, on Your heart

Pre-chorus:
Are You crying for the people of this land,
Waiting for them to return
Are You crying for the people lost in sin
You want to come and heal their souls…

Chorus:
Give me compassion for the lost
To feel Your heartbeat
Help me to pray
Like never before
Help me see people through Your eyes
And the lostness of their souls
May they know Your saving grace
And see Jesus through my life

Freshly baked brownies!

2006-03-13T17:47:00.000+08:00

Just finished baking batch one of brownies. Batch two are still in the oven. Funny how they took so long to bake this time. Wonder if I got the rack's height correct. But they should be alright. Some extremely troublesome people insist of having their brownies without nuts, and some insist on having brownies with nuts. So ok, I decided to be nice, two batches, one with, one without. Next time I shouldn't ask. Haha...

Hopefully they turn out nice and edible so everyone can be happy tonight!! Did anyone remember to bring Vanilla ice-cream?!

The persistent wasp

2006-03-13T13:07:00.000+08:00

Three days ago, I caught sight of a huge wasp (about 4-5 cm) loitering at my room's window. Only then did I realise that it had already begun to build its home on my window's grills. Since my computer is situated right beside my window, and I didn't really fancy sharing my room with a huge wasp, the nest was removed at night when the wasp was gone. To prevent it from re-building it's nest, insecticide was even sprayed on it.

When I got home the next day however, to my horror, it had build another nest, right beside its original location. A bigger nest. I was rushing out to church yesterday and so didn't clear it. Mom forgot also. We wanted to clear it yesterday night, but saw something moving inside the nest. We didn't really dare to touch it, afraid that it had already moved into its house?!

This morning, I realised that it hadn't. Well, at 7am, the huge wasp flew by the window, and appeared as if it was putting something into the nest. Then I realised to my horror again... BABIES!!! Yikes!! Awhile later, my mom and I witnessed it dragging (yes, literally), a HUGE GREEN worm, (about 4-5 cm long) by its feet, and clumsily trying to regain its balance. Then it proceeded to painstakingly stuff the long worm into the little entrance of its home. I never knew wasps ate long green worms?!!!

Mom was quite disgusted. Decided to remove the nest once the wasp flew away. In her exact words (mandarin interpretation), she said, "I don't want green worms in my house!! What if it drops the worm on the floor the next time!!" Haha.... but the wasp was smart. I think it sensed danger, so it actually didn't fly away, but loitered near the window. The moment my mom went nearer to try to close the window, the wasp flew back in.

So yes, I'm back from work, witnessing an even bigger nest now. It originally had one "room", now there are TWO rooms, with TWO entrances. Wheeeee.......

See? Persistence pays off. Now I've got to rack my brains as to what to do with the nests...

Choices

2006-03-11T20:01:00.000+08:00

At various intervals of our lives, we're often thrown with options, choices, and decisions to make. I never like that decision making process, though it's often crucial, and we can't escape it. Lately, many things that I've been putting off seem to be coming back to me. Things that I wanted to pursue, things that I started to pursue but never completed. Quarter-life crisis? Haha.

Whenever I see a dance performance (I just saw one recently), I start to wish I can go back to my dance. I started off with ballet at a young age (ok, I know I don't look like a ballet dancer), but I never really progressed with it. I went back to dance a couple of years back, did Jazz dance, but stopped mid-way. Regrets. Should have continued to pursue it. But then again, there was the question of: What will dance lead to? Is it really crucial that I learn dance? How will it benefit me? I can't really answer those questions. I suppose it's just one of the things "I would like to do". No other reason. If so, then maybe it shouldn't be on a priority list. Maybe I should just bury those dreams. Maybe pursue it when I'm 35 or something. *sigh*

Then there's music arrangement. I always meant to go take a proper course on music arrangement, or rather, music sequencing. Reading up takes an awfully long time, and in such arenas it's usually better to get official training. Again, it's something that I've put off for quite awhile. Lately, probably because of the various projects I've to take up at work, of which I find that I'm super inadequate, I'm seriously considering taking up some course on music sequencing. Coincidently, the day where by I was seriously thinking about it, and sourcing through the net on a certain music company, the girl from the company rang me up about some other stuff. I asked her about the course, and she said there were only two vacancies left for June intake!! And the fees were close to $1000. Arrgh!! I wonder if I can get partial subsidy. And if not, do I really want to go for it. Sigh.... I hate these decision makings. There is also the question of "can I spare the time?" Even though the course is only for a month, but but... *sigh*

Drums. I love drums. Even though I don't show it much. And I'm frustrated that I don't get to practice. I don't seem to be able to go anywhere when I cannot practice. I cannot improve on my technique. So what if I master stuff during class. I am progressing at a snail's pace simply because I don't have a set to practice with. My partner was considering giving up on drums. I was at a crossroad too on whether I wanted to continue solo if she leaves. And PAY, and not have a set to practice on. But it's so wasted to give up on it halfway.... *sigh*

So much things I want to do, so little time. At the end of the day, I guess the word is FOCUS. What does He want me to do? What is important to my ministry, my career, yet hopefully in sync with what I'd like to do? Don't know. No decisions yet...

The waiting Father

2006-03-05T21:43:00.000+08:00

Luke 15:11-32 The Parable of the Prodigal Son

Vs 20: So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

Question I asked. Since the father longed so much for the son to return, why didn't the father LOOK FOR the son? Why WAIT? Wasn't it faster for the father to find the son if he had gone to look? After all, the father was rich, had servants, he could easily activate the servants to look for the son?

Next question. If you read the earlier two parables in Luke 15, you would realise the contrast. In the first, the shepherd LOOKED for the missing sheep. In the second, the woman LOOKED for the missing coin. But, in the third, the father WAITED. Why the contrast? What is Jesus trying to tell us?

My suggestion? Sheeps cannot make their way back to the shepherd. They are animals, they cannot find their way back. Coins are not living things, they cannot appear to their owner and say "Here am I!" But humans are different, humans are flesh and blood. With a mind of their own. And the father knew that he couldn't force his son to return. The son had to return on his own accord.

This analogy came to mind while I was sharing this morning with one of my WG girls. Imagine a boy and a girl, in a love relationship. Imagine that they've a quarrel, and they breakup. The girl desperately longs for the boy to return to her. Cos she loves him. But yet, she knows that she cannot go and look for the boy, to ask him to come back. Because even if he did, it will not last. Even if she knew where to find him, she could not. Because love is a choice. The boy needed to decide for himself, if he wanted to return to her. Only then will it be his heart's decision. Only then will that decision count. Only then will his return be genuine.

But yet the girl loves the boy. So in sadness she waits... and hopes... and waits... and hopes. For the boy to return. If only he will return. She does not know how long she will wait. She just knows she will wait. She longs to look for him, yet she can't.

Multiply that analogy 10, 000 times. To God waiting for us, his children. To return. Can you imagine His anguish? He wants to find us, but He can't. Cos it has to be our own decision, to return.

I cannot fathom a Creator waiting for Creation. How lowly we are as a created being! It's like a president, WAITING for a road sweeper. Or even worse than that! A human waiting for an ant perhaps? Can you see the great incongruence? I simply cannot even begin to understand the depth of that love. How great the Father's love for us!

O Mighty Cross Love lifted high
The Lord of Life raised there to die
His Sacrifice on Calvary has made the mighty cross
A tree of life to me

O Mighty Cross what Throne of Grace
He knew no sin yet took my place
His Sacrifice on Calvary has made the mighty cross
A tree of life to me

O Mighty Cross O Christ so pure
Love held Him there such shame endured
His Sacrifice on Calvary has made the mighty cross
A tree of life to me

O Mighty Cross my soul's release!
The stripes He bore have brought me peace
His Sacrifice on Calvary has made the mighty cross
A tree of life to me

O Mighty Cross O Mighty Cross
O Mighty Cross A tree of life to me

Banana Chocolate Cake

2006-03-01T18:30:00.000+08:00

I had one of those long days of lessons, where you talk non-stop for 3 hours, and feel totally drained out. Went back to office to see a delicious slice of chocolate banana cake on my table and cheered up almost instantaneously. Of course, the cake was fantastic. From secret recipe! It's amazing how these little joys in life, arriving at the most appropriate moments can just make your life more bearable. And I give thanks for that slice of cake. :)

Another happy moment of the day is when I collected back my darling camera finally. After 1 month of not seeing it, I finally got it back today. And it's functioning!! Woo hoo!! Canon changed the parts without charging me for it, even though it's not under warranty anymore. Another thing to give thanks for!!

Got back home and removed lots of deceased Malayan shrimp from my goldfish tank. They were supposed to clear up the brown algae, but they died before succeeding. Sigh. I was told the results were instantaneous?! Like real.... so now I'm told I've to be patient. Well, maybe there's really a difference between Kelantan bought shrimp and Johor bought shrimp? At this rate, I'll probably be clearing more deceased shrimp from my pathetic "turning brown" tank. Yucks.

Sick sick

2006-02-21T23:43:00.000+08:00

Went to the polyclinic today. Queued for almost forever. There were so many patients, the room was stuffy etc. Waited and waited. I probably became even more sick after the visit to the docs. The doc gave two days MC, because I was down with a viral infection. So much for MC, I still can't take the second day off, because I've got alot of work to rush. The tests are on Thursday, so cannot be so irresponsible.

Slept for 6 hours in the afternoon. Woke up feeling slightly better, but now the sneezing and the fever has started again. Oh Lord please give me strength for tomorrow. I just feel like curling up somewhere and not go to work.

Hate this flu....

Cold chills

2006-02-20T17:29:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning to a hoarse and raspy throat, with a dry cough. It became worse during the day, thanks to the tremendous amount of talking/raising my voice I had to do today. Right now, I'm at home, with cold chills, a low fever, a horrid throat, a threatening nose and very aching bones. Seems like an MC is impending. But I just went on one not so long ago, what will boss say?

The happier part of the day was that I managed to obtain possession of a midi-keyboard. It was a white elephant in the office anyway, so they said I could bring it home to use it to work on stuff. :) Also learnt that a friend is starting drum lessons with the same instructor on the same day! How cool! Haha.. especially when I'm at intermediate and he has to start at beginners. *gloats* But well, at least now we'd have time to catch up over dinner hopefully. It's always nice to be able to keep in touch once again with friends long gone, and be reminded of their existence. Haha... of course, I think I'd need to brush up my sparring skills first!

I'm off to take a nap, and rest my creaking aching bones. Hopefully the panadol can offer some kind of relief...

The Pediatric Ward

2006-02-18T09:15:00.000+08:00

I went to the hospital yesterday. No I didn't know the person my friends were visiting. I was just meeting them for dinner afterwards so I just went along to wait for them. The person was a youth, and so was located in the pediatric ward. We walked past the children cancer ward before reaching his ward. I was totally unprepared for what I would see. Yes, I've done a stint at the A/E and whatever before, but to see so many young children, suffering in the hands of cancer, is a sight that totally chilled my heart.

They were so skinny, so helpless. They were bawling away, and the nurses could do little to soothe their pain. Many had numerous tubes and needles poking through them. Balding heads, large eyes, wondering why this world brought them so much pain, from the very beginning. One asks if this was fair? Perhaps not. Nothing in this world is fair. It's fallen anyway. That's why the world needs Jesus.

We reached the ward we meant to visit. More children. At least, these were not cancer patients, and so they looked better. Some nurses were carrying the children around, those children who had no visitors. I'm amazed at how fast the children at the wards made friends with other patients. They'd just wander over, and play with them, even though they were total strangers in the beginning. Some of the other youths who came to visit the boy waited at one side whilst the horde of us spoke to him. Later, I saw that they were accompanying some of these kids who had no visitors. One such little patient was this very brave 6 year old boy, who had to be placed on a protein drip. When I saw the youth playing with the kid, I was thinking, "These youths still have hope..." At least, they know what is the meaning of compassion.

Bane of credit cards

2006-02-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

I hardly study my credit statements in detail. No, I didn't overspend. I just realised that some merchant double billed me. Meaning, they swiped the card twice. But I only signed one receipt. And my bank says I've got to go settle it with the merchant myself and tell them they double-charged. I wonder if they'd believe me. Sheesh.....

Valentines

2006-02-14T21:12:00.000+08:00

Received a box of strepsils, from a group of guys. Reason? Because I always need to shout at them so the strepsils are to soothe the throat. Very very cute...

It's a long road

2006-02-10T23:20:00.000+08:00

The road is long, and I'm still going on. I haven't blogged for awhile, simply because I didn't know how to put my thoughts into words. Too many things are happening at one time, and life is moving at a pace a tat bit too fast. I'm just being swept along by the waves, hardly having time to process my inner thoughts.

I just know I seriously miss the quality time spent with Him, to hear Him speak in that still small voice. Sometimes the busyness around us seems like noise to the mind, and prevents us from hearing His voice, calling out to us from the depths of whatever situation we're facing. I think I should try to free up time for a personal retreat soon. Definitely need the rejuvenation.

Work is piling up, but I'm still trying to breathe and take things in stride. I'm becoming slightly absent-minded these days. Take today for example, I hastily sent a music file to my other email account early this morning, as I had left my thumb drive in school. The music was needed for a competition rehearsal. To my horror 20 minutes before the rehearsal I realised that the file was not sent properly, and the account was erroneous. *dead meat* for the competition is tomorrow morning. THANK GOD I had somehow sent sMonSter that silly music file yesterday and he was online today, and managed to bug him enough to send it over. Or I would have "died". Then today, I left my laptop in school, when I knew I would have needed the burner inside to convert the music file into an audio CD for use at the competition. Got myself into another situation. Thank goodness I managed to borrow one, and get my CD burnt. Sheesh..... I better be more alert.

I guess the main lesson I hope to learn this month is how to rest in Him. To work, but yet have a sense of restedness within. Sounds easy? Not at all...

The presence of God

2006-02-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

Do you ever think about what it will be like to experience God's presence in heaven? We can get so distracted by looming deadlines and worldly concerns that heaven has all the urgency of a fairy tale-nice to think about, but not particularly relevant. Some people are convinced that the problems of today preclude any thoughtful reflection on our future in heaven.

The Bible speaks of heaven as a place where God is uniquely present. "For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf" (Heb 9:24 ESV).

Gabriel informed a startled Mary that he is one who "stands in the presence of God," while Jesus prayed to his Father, "glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with You before the world existed" (Lk 1:19, Jn 17:5). Although God is present everywhere, heaven is different.

"We might find it misleading to say that God is 'more present' in heaven than anywhere else, but it would not be misleading to say that God is present in a special way in heaven, present especially there to bless and to show forth his glory. We could also say that God manifests his presence more fully in heaven than elsewhere" (Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology, p. 176).

Scripture indicates it is right, helpful, and immeasurably comforting to anticipate our future dwelling in the presence of God, made possible through the atoning work of our glorious Savior. As wonderful and reassuring as the reality of God's presence may be to us now, we can only experience a faint echo of what awaits us in heaven. There, clearer eyes will reveal greater beauty, sharper minds will enable us to perceive greater wisdom, and clearer ears will make every sound more glorious.

A primary benefit of meditating on our future state in heaven is the motivation it provides for pursuing holiness. 1 John 3:2-3 tells us, "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure" (ESV). The prospect of worshiping a holy God for eternity produces a greater desire to forsake our sins and serve God with passion.

We have seen that God's presence on earth is usually associated with His desire to bless. As He works in our hearts we might experience love, peace, joy, truth, wisdom, freedom, power, hope, or glory-all aspects of His nature and character. How fulfilling to realize that as Christians we will one day experience those qualities and countless others in an undistracted, uninterrupted, undiminished way for all eternity. It should make us tremble with joy.

A few more summer vacations, a few more births and weddings, a few more funerals, and each one of us will be standing before the majesty and glory of our holy and merciful Creator. That thought affects me even as I write these words. What an incredible privilege and joy it will be to take our place among the throngs of heaven, made up of people from every tribe, language, people, and tongue who have been purchased by the blood of the Lamb.

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away'" Rev 21:3-4 (ESV).

As we contemplate that moment, may we be more aware of the life, substitutionary death, and resurrection of our Savior that has made it all possible. Amen. Come Lord Jesus!

-- Exerpted from "Crosswalk Worship Matters"

Recording in progress

2006-01-30T22:47:00.000+08:00

I spent a rather fruitful CNY first day. Went to Sentosa to see flowers, but will reserve that (and the photos) for another post. Fruitful because I finally managed to re-record one of my older songs "Lord of the cross". It's one of the ones I like better, because it spoke to me alot, personally. I've been meaning to record all those that are still linked on the left side of the page, but never quite got down to doing it. So now, one down, 16 more to go. Oops.

"Lord of the cross" was birthed during a season of weariness in Oct 2005. I was tired, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And in those tired times came the recognition that I needed His strength, more than anything else. If you're feeling that way too, may He grant you the strength to go on each day.

Lord may this weary heart find comfort in Your presence
Lord may this tired soul finds rest in Your love
May I know the peace that comes from heaven above
And trust You like a child trusts his father

May my weakened hands be strengthened by Your spirit
May these feeble feet gain courage to follow Your ways
Though the paths are not always smooth
And the rain keeps pouring down
Help me to trust You even when I’m falling down

You are the God of the universe
The father of creation
Who can stand in Your presence
And not fall down on their knees
Yet You came down from Your throne above
To call me as Your own
Such amazing love and sacrifice
Can I not trust, the Lord of the cross

The bus journey

2006-01-29T21:37:00.000+08:00

I was on my way to church this morning. Whilst on the way down, I realized that I left my mp3 player at home. Ok, so there'll be nothing to accompany me on the long bus journey. The first bus I took was simply too noisy. I tried to pray, but didn't really get anywhere with TV mobile blasting away. On the second bus, the surroundings were much quieter and I could finally pray. I didn't really know what to pray for. For the past two weeks, there had been a certain burden upon my heart. Something heavy, that I wished would go away. My questions never seemed to have a direct reply. Even though I knew God was sovereign, sometimes my lack of faith craved for a more definite answer.

The bus was moving steadily along, but somehow I wished it moved faster. I was running late. While staring out of the window, I sense His spirit speak to my heart.

"Child, you hope that the bus would go faster don't you? But no matter what speed this bus travels at, you will still reach the same destination. The slower the bus travels, the more time you have to pay attention to the surroundings, and notice things you may not have noticed, if it was going faster. What's most important, is that the destination is the same. You will get there in the end."

And so, the lesson is patience isn't it? Perhaps so... and also in learning to smell the roses, and to TRUST.

Thoughts about CNY

2006-01-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

I remember being extremely enthusiastic about CNY when I was younger. Excitedly helping my mom to place money in Ang Paos, prepare the candy dishes, and lay out the mandarin oranges. Somehow, as the years pass, all these "traditions" seem to have vanished. We no longer lay out candy dishes, not even mandarin oranges. Even the annual reunion dinner seems to have taken on a lesser significance.

Mom has been nagging and nagging at me to buy my new year clothes. I haven't really done so yet. Don't really see the importance of it, but will probably try to get something just to appease her. This year I'm particularly numb to all this "festive cheer". Festive cheer in the family should not only be displayed during CNY, it should be perpetual. If it's just during CNY, then it doesn't seem to bring much meaning, does it?

Perhaps I'm just immune to changes. Or at least, I try to shut it out. Maybe it's one of the trends of a developing nation. When socio-economical status rises, and people become more focused on achievements, family ties seem to take on lesser importance. I never knew to treasure the times years and years ago, when the whole extended family could sit at a round table and eat together. I don't even think it possible now. Some people are gone forever, some people have migrated. So what if we try to arrange teleconferencing over the new year? Meaningless.

So I'll have reunion dinner tomorrow. Or maybe, I should just say.. CNY eve dinner. The word "reunion" is a total misnomer.

Bit the dust again

2006-01-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

Sneeze. Atishoo!

I've succumbed to the flu bug. After almost one week of trying to fight it, and not fall sick, and not take MC, I'm down. I'm a leaking faucet now, but thankfully, my throat is feeling slightly better.

Hopefully the rest will help me recover faster. Sigh.

Sayonara to them Chinese new year yummies.

What determines your self-worth?

2006-01-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

Self-worth, or self-esteem is something that is very important, yet seldom mentioned in our society these days. Often, we merely scratch the surface of things. Most youths I know have an issue with low self-esteem, whether they admit it or not. It can come in many ways, some very mild, some very serious. The common big lie is, "I'm not good enough." OR another favourite, "I'm not beautiful." Once these lies are accepted into one's system, they can do drastic damage. Many youths even attempt to harm themselves because they believe in these lies.

But what does the bible say?

I AM ACCEPTED...

John 1:12
I am God's child.

John 15:15
As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:1
I have been justified.

1 Corinthians 6:17
I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.

1 Corinthians 12:27
I am a member of Christ's body.

Ephesians 1:3-8
I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.

Colossians 1:13-14
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

Colossians 2:9-10
I am complete in Christ.

Hebrews 4:14-16
I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.

I AM SECURE...

Romans 8:1-2
I am free from condemnation.

Romans 8:28
I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.

Romans 8:31-39
I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.

2 Corinthians 1:21-22
I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.

Colossians 3:1-4
I am hidden with Christ in God.

Philippians 1:6
I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.

Philippians 3:20
I am a citizen of heaven.

2 Timothy 1:7
I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

1 John 5:18
I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.

I AM SIGNIFICANT

John 15:5
I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.

John 15:16
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

1 Corinthians 3:16
I am God's temple.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21
I am a minister of reconciliation for God.

Ephesians 2:6
I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.

Ephesians 2:10
I am God's workmanship.

Ephesians 3:12
I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

If you're a youth reading this, or adult even, suffering from self-esteem issues, STOP, and read the verses above. Recite them aloud to yourself and choose to believe in God's truth, instead of Satan's lies.

Safe in a crazy world

2006-01-11T21:46:00.000+08:00

Work demands seem to have taken a toll since the year started. I've been averaging 12 hours of work in the office daily. I rarely did this last year. It's come to a certain point where I just learn to live a day at a time. Sometimes, you wonder if it's pure coincidence that trouble finds the same time to show its face. Perhaps. Stresses from all directions seem to pile up all at once. And no, I'm not referring to work specifically. Maybe it's God telling me to trust Him more. Maybe I need to cling more to the Master's hand.

It's starting to feel rather numb. The feeling of not feeling anything. Or rather, feeling, but not being able to do anything about it. Surrenderedness is a hard lesson to learn. Lord, help me to trust.

I hope you dance

2006-01-10T00:10:00.000+08:00

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

Goodbye 2005

2005-12-31T21:55:00.000+08:00

It has been an interesting year. A year filled with transitions, trials, but also alot of joy and blessings. I'm especially thankful to the Lord for seeing me through NIE and posting me to a school with nice colleagues. It's been a year since I joined WEB, and I must say that it has been an eventful year in the ministry, learning and growing. I'm thankful for my bunch of crazy little cows, who never fail to add a smile to my day. Also specially thankful for the friendships among the various youth leaders, for the support, the prayers and the advice.

May 2006 be a year of great growth, joy and blessing in the Lord for everyone. The hymn below summarises my thoughts about the year, and the year to come. :)

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT

Fight the good fight with all thy might,
Christ is thy strength and Christ thy right;
lay hold on life, and it shall be
thy joy and crown eternally.

Run the straight race, through God's good grace,
lift up thine eyes and seek his face;
life with its way before us lies,
Christ is the path and Christ the prize.

Cast care aside, lean on thy Guide;
his boundless mercy will provide;
trust, and thy trusting soul shall prove
Christ is its life and Christ its love.

Faint not nor fear, his arms are near;
he changeth not, and thou art dear;
only believe, and thou shalt see
that Christ is all in all to thee.

Red eye

2005-12-28T22:37:00.000+08:00

No I'm not talking about my puffer fish, otherwise known as the Red eye puffers. I'm talking about the state of my eye. A slight itch resulted in a red swollen eye, which currently is causing slightly blurry vision. And yikes! I've to work half day tomorrow still! Hopefully after a goodnight's rest, the eye will recover... pray pray.

PS: I learnt how to brake today! Yay...

The wind in my face

2005-12-27T20:11:00.000+08:00

Today was the third blading attempt. In school. The second attempt was on Sunday. It was less pathetic than the first, but I took quite awhile before I dared to cross the road humps. Fell once, well.... kinda fell. Thank God the fall was "broken" or else... Ouch.

At school today, we had some blading activity. We had some fellas from a school to teach us how to blade. We started by learning how to fall. Yes. We all had to fall in the correct way. Quite an interesting way of starting the lesson. Anyway, I spent 30 minutes V-walking. My instructor felt I didn't bend my knees enough. Oh well. Anyway, in the end I half gave up on trying to walk, and decided to just glide around. He said it was correct, and I just needed to slide out more. Hmm....

And so I did... down the corridor. Went faster. Felt the wind in my face. It was totally liberating. My instructor skated down and gave me a thumbs up sign. Woo hoo! I'm getting somewhere in the end. And so the solution is simple... one just needs to feel the wind in the face.

Baby steps

2005-12-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

I went roller-blading a couple of days ago. Maybe, it should be better qualified as roller-crawling. It was a breakthrough in a certain sense, because I "swore off" roller blading a year ago, after a very bad fall. A fall that caused that caused neck and tailbone injury. But since I have to do some kind of roller blading thing at school, I figured I might as well conquer some fears.

I realised that starting from scratch was very difficult. I had actually managed to blade the previous time, but when one has past fears, it was actually quite crippling to start over again. I was very very afraid of falling down and landing backwards. And fears prevent one from moving forward.

Well, thanks to a rather patient teacher, despite the "kuai dian! kuai dian!!" mutterings from time to time, I kinda managed to get the technique after 1 hour and 45 minutes of crawling. And no, I didn't fall. And when I finally managed to "move", I found out that it wasn't quite as scary as I thought it to be.

I reflected, and found that it's often the same with our past history, hurts and failures. Once bitten, shy forever. But when we cannot let go, and try to give ourselves another chance, we may never learn to move on, and discover greener pastures. Easy? No way... but sometimes, we do need to take baby steps.

An imaginary conversation between God and Man

2005-12-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

"So You purposely made them (male and female) different as they are?"

"Yes I did. You're suggesting it was accidental?"

"Oh, no...no, not at all. But, sometimes..."

"You know the story. Satan clothed in the form of a serpent came to them and spoke to Eve. He convinced her to disobey Me. She invited Adam to join her, and instead of saying, 'No, we need to obey God,' he caved in. This was the first sign of passivity. The man-woman relationship and everything else became disordered. He then began to blame. First he blamed his wife, and then he blamed Me for giving her to him. Ever since Adam's time, men have tended to be defensive. They often interpret innocent questions as accusations. And the blame that started in the Garden..... Oh, men have cultivated that ability well! The role I assigned to Adam has been distorted."

"Ah, wait a minute. Men are defensive by nature? I don't think we're so defensive."

(Silence)

"Well, perhaps some men are, but we do get accused alot...."

(Silence)

"All right, we're defensive. OK, please continue, or is that it?"

"There's much more. In the Garden, both Adam and Eve could relate emotionally. They were able to give one another the gift of understanding. Not now. Now, if a woman wants understanding from a man, what does she get?"

"Solutions, answers, advice...."

"A relationship that was meant to be complementary became competitive. Eve's desire was to control Adam. What I created to be a perfect balance resulted in a deteriorating imbalance and a clash of wills."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The above paragraph is an exerpt from Norm Wright's book "What Men Want". I read it as quoted in the book "Women of Destiny" recently. The author, Cindy Jacobs, felt that Norm Wright was painfully right in his assessments. Anyone begs to differ?

Introducing the culprits

2005-12-17T11:38:00.000+08:00

Wasabi- the alpha male

Shoyu- the timid yet greedy female

Look at those layers of bulging fats...

Eyeing a snail, not quite knowing what to do

Full snail carnage by the male

I get on my knees

2005-12-16T13:47:00.000+08:00

On My Knees -- Jaci Velasquez

There are days when I feel
The best of me is ready to begin.
Then there're days when I feel
I'm letting go and soaring on the wind.
'Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain
How to survive.

I get on my knees, I get on my knees;
There I am before the love that changes me.
See I don't know how, but there's pow'r
When I'm on my knees.

I can be in a crowd
Or by myself, in almost anywhere
When I feel there's a need
To talk with God; He is Emmanuel.
When I close my eyes no darkness there,
There's only light.

I get on my knees, I get on my knees;
There I am before the love that changes me.
See I don't know how, but there's pow'r
In the blue skies, in the midnight
When I'm on my knees.

I get on my knees, I get on my knees;
There I am before the love that changes me.
See I don't know how, but there's pow'r
When I'm on my oh, when I'm on my,
When I'm on my knees
---------------------------------------

Through the darkest days and nights, You'll stay faithful to see me through. Though I may not always understand the plans You have for me, I will simply trust.

In loving memory...

2005-12-14T21:58:00.000+08:00

Suppression of Emotions

2005-12-14T19:54:00.000+08:00

This post is adapted from Neil Anderson's daily devotional

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long (Psalm 32:3 NIV).

Suppression of emotions is a conscious denial of feelings (repression is an unconscious denial). Those who suppress their emotions ignore their feelings and choose not to deal with them. Suppression is an unhealthy response to your emotions.

King David had something to say about the negative impact of suppressing his feelings in his relationship with God: "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. . . . Let everyone who is godly pray to You while You may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him" (Psalm 32:3, 6 NIV). David is not saying that God takes Himself out of our reach. When extraneous circumstances loom larger to you than God, it will not take long for your emotions to overcome you. When suppressed emotions build up within you like "mighty waters," you won't turn to God. Your emotions will be in control. It's important to open up to God while you can, because if you bottle up your feelings too long, it will disrupt the harmony of your relationship with Him.

David also commented on the impact of suppression on relationships with people: "I said, 'I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth as with a muzzle, while the wicked are in my presence.' I was dumb and silent, I refrained every from good; and my sorrow grew worse" (Psalm 39:1, 2).

Don't cover over your emotions. Suppression isn't good for you, for others, or for your relationship with God. God knows the thoughts and intentions of our hearts, and others can sense that something is wrong, because more is communicated nonverbally than verbally. When the verbal doesn't match the nonverbal, people believe the nonverbal. If we don't accurately express what we believe, people will believe our nonverbal messages about what we believe. Don't leave room for guesswork. Instead, "Speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another" (Ephesians 4:25).

Lord, I want to live in honest agreement with You and others. Give me the grace to speak the truth in love.

Insight from catching tetras

2005-12-13T12:48:00.000+08:00

If anyone of you have had tetras, you'd know that they're extremely nimble and quick fish. They're however very greedy creatures. I've tried unsuccessfully to trap them in the net, despite ideas to put food into the net and tempt the tetras in.

This morning, I employed another tactic, I simply left the net in the tank, the tetras hid for a long while, and slowly they came out. Some started to poke at the net with interest, swimming nearer and nearer the net, some poked at the rim of the net even.

It was then that it struck me. Ain't it the same with sin many a times? We know that something is dangerous. Just like the net. I believe the tetras know that the net spells danger, that was why they fled. But when something is around for extended periods of time, we begin to kid ourselves that it's OK. It's normal. It's just part of our surroundings, it can't be that dangerous can it? And slowly, we "swim" nearer and nearer, until finally, we're entangled.

A lesson learnt would be to view danger as danger. If something is wrong, and dangerous, it always will be. Take heed.

Thoughts before the journey

2005-12-06T22:41:00.000+08:00

And so, after all the preparations, we're finally off. I've mixed feelings of all kinds. But the phrase that is closest to my mind is "Let God be God", and "Simply trust". I guess the word trust takes on a whole new meaning when one is still sick the night before the trip. Mom was coming close to banning me from going. Worse when I learnt that some other people in the team have not recovered yet. We really need to pray, and trust. Trust God for a healing miracle!

My prayer for the team, and myself, is that our lives will be changed. Transformed to become more like Him. In the midst of being a blessing, I believe we will be richly blessed.

Do pray along with us, that we'll be united in His love to love others.

"It's not how much you give, but how much love you put into the giving."

The poor

2005-12-02T16:24:00.000+08:00

Went for the night session of Fever 05 yesterday. The speaker was Jackie Pullinger, a lady who always won my highest respect since I read her book "Chasing the Dragon" many years ago. She spoke about the poor.

Just earlier that day, the Lord inspired upon me the following verse from Matt 9:36-38

"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

The phrase which captured my attention the most yesterday night was that "Compassion is always accompanied by action, if not, it's not compassion." Many times we see some sad sorry scene, and we shed tears. But we go home, and lead our lives as if we never saw that scene. I'm guilty of that. But perhaps God is calling us to something greater, and it starts small, right where we are. Will our eyes be opened to see the poor among us? And will we do something about it?

To the ends of the earth

Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost
In all you are

And I would give the world to tell Your story
Cause I know that You've called me
I know that You've called me
I've lost myself for good within Your promise
I won't hide it
I won't hide it

Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For You alone are the Son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

We sing this song often. Do we actually know what we're singing? Sometimes, I pause before I sing the chorus. I don't even know if I actually have the courage to do what I sing. May God grant us the strength and the courage to indeed, do as we sing.

Tank photos

2005-11-30T20:32:00.000+08:00

I just added new plants to the second tank. Tanks are flourishing better now with the addition of CO2. Sigh... can't take the easier way out it seems. Check them out.

First tank

Second tank

For the team...

2005-11-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

It's been a journey for the team this week, and I'm glad that we've crossed another milestone. I'm proud of all of you guys, for your maturity and your openness. I know that many still have their own wars to fight, but let's hold on to the Lord Jesus, and to each other and run along. I can see that the Lord's hand is upon each one of your lives, and that He's doing His work among this team, and for that I'm thankful.

Let's continue to keep each other in prayers. Thanks for allowing me to be a part of this journey. :) Hugs...

Operation teeth trim with pictures

2005-11-25T16:48:00.000+08:00

Ok, apparently the first time I didn't trim thoroughly, so I've to attempt a round two, as advised by the good peeps at the forum, after seeing my puffer's photo with nice long teeth. For those people who cannot imagine anyone trimming a puffer's teeth, here are some photos my mom took whilst I was attempting the unimaginable.

First you put the fish in a small container of water and add 3-4 drops of clove oil.

Next you wait till it flips over as if its dead, then you gently lift it up in the net, and hold the fish through the net.

Then using a pair of nail clippers, you clip across the teeth as short as possible. I find it hard to cut the lower teeth as the fish clamps its mouth shut. Try to avoid cutting off the lips of the fish.

Once done, put it in a basin of fresh water.

After about 5 minutes, it should gradually right itself up, and swim around as usual.

As of current status, its still in the recovery basin, flooded with worms, two shrimp and a snail. It has not touched anything yet. Hopefully it will.. soon.

Dripping ice-cream cones

2005-11-25T00:01:00.000+08:00

One of the more embarrassing things I've done in my life. Had a team bonding session with the BT team, and we decided to talk at the bridge across clarke quay. I had the fantastic idea of buying them ice-cream, so went with two others to look for the supposed Macs at the end of the street. Turned out that Macs was at Liang court. We bought the cones, but they started to drip almost immediately after we exited Liang court.

Gosh. To make matters worse, the two girls left first (so that theirs won't melt), while I waited for the girl to fill up the cones. So I was trying my best to get back to the bridge, whilst making white trails of ice cream all along clarke quay, to the stares of passer-bys. I am almost sure that some people thought that it was some Candid camera thing.... I was desperately trying to dry off the dripping ice-cream but it just went on and on...

The best part was I lost my way. Ok don't laugh. In the end, I had to retract my steps, and so the ice-cream went drip drip drip all the more.

But well, we had fun. :p The next time, the guys will go buy the ice-cream.

Humbled...

2005-11-24T14:31:00.000+08:00

That's the best word I can use to describe the camp. God's presence was awesome, mind-blowing and absolutely humbling. Humbling because none of us in the camp comm anticipated such a move. And none of us did anything that could possibly cause it to happen. Yet His favour was upon all of us, and for that I'm absolutely humbled.

It is my prayer that the experience will not just be an emotional or feeling one, but it would seek to draw us closer to the one who created us. That it will instill in us a deeper love for the word, and for the person of Jesus Christ. For those who experienced healing, it is but the beginning of a long journey of healing and restoration. But at the end of the day, it is so that we can be made whole, to a worship a Holy God.

I'm touched by the hunger I saw in the hearts of all the youths at the camp. I pray that there will be more to come. Let's not be satisfied by just this. Let's pray for more....

2 more days

2005-11-17T18:10:00.000+08:00

to Generation Camp. I'm excited, and a little nervous. There has been many changes, knots to tie up, things to do. I'm physically tired, but I know I'll find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. One thing I know that does not change: His love for me.

I'm grateful for the team of Committee members serving alongside. For their diligence and their love for God. Specially thankful for people like Ee-lin, Jeanette and sMonSter who are working/studying/busy, but yet worked so so hard for the camp. 3 cheers! Of course there's the boss, Mr Farttut, but hey... bosses need to work hard right! Haha... no la, thanks for serving alongside as well. Don't stress!

May all who are going to the camp find rest in the presence of God. May they be rejuvenated and refreshed, with the energy to run the race home. God won't you come and touch us during the camp! Remember to pray and prepare your hearts! It's going to be an exciting journey ahead.

Another year of His grace

2005-11-16T22:32:00.000+08:00

As I look back upon the past year, I realize once again that time flies. I can still vaguely remember my birthday last year, breakfast, going shopping for a black sweater which is a present (and eventually losing it), musical rehearsal. It really didn't seem that long ago. Alas, time flies. One year older.

This year has marked the year of significant change in my life. Change in ministry and change in job. I'm glad that with God's help, I am able to enter next year with a clearer and more stable outlook of life, and know where I'm heading. I'm constantly reminded of how stubborn a child I am, and how gracious my Father is to me.

Thanks to all who remembered and sent their well-wishes in one way or another. I'm especially amazed at a Primary sch friend whom I'm not really in contact with who msged me and said Happy birthday. She actually remembered! Special thanks to Char, Scratch and BH for the lovely pizza twirling dinner yesterday, and the guys for swallowing the extra slices of pizza. Heh... thanks to TJ for the cute little piggy (3rd piggy in running), and the nice teochew porridge treat. You must feel privilege to spend my bday with me right? Hahahaha.... and thanks to Lynn for planning the Indochine dinner tomorrow! Am looking forward to it.. :) And woah! 01 just told me that he and Seb bought me itune credits! Haha.. soo nice. :) Thanks guys.

But really, my one wish is to grow closer to God. To not be caught in the trap of being busy, but to spend time with Him. To be a Mary and not a Martha. I think that'd be my goal for the next year ahead.

Mr Beasley

2005-11-10T22:49:00.000+08:00

I probably will have this song playing in this song for a few months after this performance. Anyway, I thought the lyrics were a quirky kind of cute. Quite true too.... :)

Mr Beasley -- Corrinne May

You don't have to drive a fancy car
Don't have to quote me Shakespeare
Just to woo me
Yeah I see your nervous laughter
When you're trying to crack some joke
Well you don't fool me

I'd like to see your eyes through those goggles that you're wearing
Don't try to hide away

*Just be yourself Mr. Beasley
I don't need your show of attitude
Cos it's your soul that makes me fall in love with you
Fall in love with you

You don't notice but I see you
In the church when you were praying
You just move me
And my friend Sue she tells me
You've been teaching kids for free
Mr Philanthropy

A question on morality

2005-11-10T00:09:00.000+08:00

I was having dinner today and was posted this case scenario which was surfaced during a discussion on morality at film class.
------------------------------------

A girl lives on an island, but her boyfriend lives on another island. She loves him very much and desperately wants to go and see him. She needs to take a boat to the island, but she didn't have the money to pay the boatman, who would not ferry her for free. Her plight is known to a rich man, who offers her the money she needs to pay for her boat trip, provided she sells herself to him for one night. Because of her love for her boyfriend, she does that, and gets the money. However, when she went over to the island, her boyfriend's friend squealed on her (told the bf she slept with the guy, and why she did it...), and the boyfriend broke up with her.

Question: Who is the worse person amongst the five characters? (Girl, boyfriend, Boatman, Rich man, Squealer). And who is the most upright person amongst the five? Remember to give your reasons.

There are no right and wrong answers. WHAT SAY YOU?

The fishy story continues

2005-11-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

Ok, due to popular demand.. haha. Here's an update on my puffers.

Wasabi is still in jail. He has resigned to his fate, and is now showing normal puffer colours. Before that, he was really dark (the colours). I placed a few ghost shrimp inside the jail with him, but they've all jumped out in terror, so now he's all alone... cold and lonely.

Honey is still not really eating, unless I force feed, but it is getting easier to force feed. She keeps trying to wedge herself into the small space between Wasabi's jail and the tank wall, gets stuck halfway, gets scared and wriggles herself out frantically. Then repeats the procedure 5 minutes later. I do not understand her at all. The good thing is that she is starting to chase shrimp. She will stare at the shrimp, go after it, then let it go. That day a shrimp stole the worm I was trying to feed her with, and she took after the shrimp, but didn't follow through the chase. The bad part is... I saw her chasing my Otos today. Bad bad... I hope they don't end up with nipped tails.

Selling off my E500

2005-10-31T19:58:00.000+08:00

I'm selling off my Roland Keyboard. It's an E500 intelligent keyboard. Just put up an add on luthermusic. Hopefully I can get it sold off fast. IF there are interested buyers, you can also contact me here. Lol....

Once it is sold, I can revamp my room! Yay... shall start recruiting slaves to help me shift furniture. Erm.. I mean helpers, not slaves.

Updates

2005-10-29T23:35:00.000+08:00

My compy is up and working. Thank God.... the repairs cost abit, but it was still cheaper than buying a new comp. There's wireless in the house now too! Yayness.

Fishes have not been doing too well. Firstly, Honey is still NOT eating. The ghost shrimp try to pick at the worms that I try to "force feed" it with. I am on the verge of calling Qian Hu to find out just what exactly do they feed their puffers. She eats maybe once every 4 days, after I irritate her massively with a worm. I was reading about Vitamin A deficiency causing poor eye-sight. Hmm....

Wasabi bit a chunk of Shoyu's tail, resulting in massive bleeding, and a very weak Shoyu. Shoyu has since been separated into a small 1-ft tank, and is recuperating well. The rascal of a Wasabi is still scot-free, though I've half a mind to cage him up in the net tomorrow. Especially since Honey is also spotting some bite marks.

Maybe I should really get another tank when my mom goes overseas. Hahaha... she won't approve of it if she's in town. *scheming look*

and the computer went BOOM!

2005-10-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

Ok, it's pretty obvious what happened. The CPU went BOOM yesterday, resulting in an electricity trip in the whole house. It's sitting a repair shop now and I'm praying very hard it's ok. I've got so much data inside that PC!!! :( :( :(

Force feeding

2005-10-23T21:35:00.000+08:00

It was day 7. Honey still refused to eat. She's back in the main tank now with the other two "rubbish bins". They seem to be all living in harmony so that's good. In fact, Honey is always tailing Wasabi around innocently. Weird.

Anyway, I read an article about bouncing "brine shrimp" off the puffer's head to irritate it enough with the food so that it will eat. I tried, but I didn't really have a dropper so it didn't really work. Then I thought to myself, ok, what about try to irritate it with bloodworms?

After 7 days, I was quite ready to try anything. So, I tried dangling the bloodworm on Honey, and dangling it at the mouth. Honey appeared very irritated. It finally grabbed the worm, but Shoyu dashed over and snatched half the worm away. Irritating. Attempt two -- Wasabi grabbed the worm from her mouth.

Later at night, I re-tried the procedure, but had a net handy to separate my two "rubbish bins" if necessary. It worked! She ate one worm. I tried again, but she spat the worm out. Anyway, in the end she ate 4 worms. But it was a very very tough procedure. I'm beginning to wonder what Qian Hu feeds their fish. I suspect she might have been fed tablets. She didn't seem like she was used to the taste of worms, or snails as a matter of fact.

I sure do hope I don't have to keep doing this. But at least now I know she can eat, and she probably won't starve to death. Tsk.

More than I can hope or dream of

2005-10-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

Even though the past few days have been a hurried mess, I thank God for His blessings that are still new every morning. It's funny how He reminds me of answered prayers, long after I've given up on things. And sometimes, these aren't even needs, but wants. Material wants even.

When my laptop gave up on me in April, I contemplated getting a new laptop. I was in fact considering the ibook due to its stability. Some friends told me to wait till I get to school because I will be given a laptop, but I told them no school would give an ibook. Well, true enough, I received a PC laptop, a super old model of Dell, but it was working. The ibook was still on my mind, but I decided to save the money. To my amazement, my school offered ibooks about two months ago to teachers interested, and I managed to get one. It was a real blessing, considering they purchased very few sets.

Blessing two was today, when I received the ibook proper. A few months ago, I wanted to purchase an external Cd-R drive so that I can backup my stuff with greater ease, since my Cd-R drive crashed with my laptop. I considered a DVD-R drive but that was just too costly. So, my amazement when I received the ibook today, and the one they ordered came with the dvd-r drive, not just the cd-r. Wow! I didn't even actually prayed about it!

Blessing three was another material gain. Since a few months ago, I was toying with the notion of getting an mp3 player. My discman died about a year ago after mom borrowed it. Haha... and I never got myself a replacement. Anyhow, I decided to postpone the purchasing of one, cos I decided I didn't really NEED it. A few days ago, Singnet sent me a letter informing me that my contract with them for my broadband has ended, and offered a re-contract. A higher speed at the same price. And yes, they were giving away the new ipod nano.

I'm not saying that God grants to us our material wants just like that. But to me, even though I didn't pray for these things, didn't ask, and in fact, have given up most hope of obtaining them in the near future, God blessed me immensely. I didn't deserve a single bit of it. And it just tells me, my God will supply all my needs (and some wants), according to His richess in glory.

Thank you papa.

Blessed

2005-10-19T21:39:00.000+08:00

The past two days have been crazy, rushing to finish the stack of papers. I can almost "swear" that my english standard has dropped in the last two days. Wrong spellings start appearing right. But there was an unexpected blessing, coming in the form of online christian radio.

I was getting swarmed yesterday, and my brain was starting to freeze. Searched google for christian radio and ended up at www.klove.com. It's a contemporary christian radio site, meaning to say it plays songs by groups like Casting crowns, Bebo Norman and so on. But many songs are familiar, and they're not the noisy kind. They also had inspirational christian messages periodically. I totally love it. It gave me the brain break while I was doing my work, and I really thank God for providing that bit of brain food when I needed it.

There was this interesting message I heard from one of the snippets. It's a principle to guiding one's life in making decisions. Here goes:

The three most important questions to ask when making any important decision -
1) What is wise in light of my past experiences?
2) What is wise in light of my present circumstances?
3) What is wise in light of my future hopes and aspirations?

Sounds simple? I think it's pretty meaningful. Think about it...

Day 4 -- still not eating

2005-10-19T21:33:00.000+08:00

Honey is still not eating. Sigh. It is probably making friends with the ghost shrimp in its tank. I figure it will never be eaten. Lucky prawn. But I'm flabberghasted. Honey poo-ed in plain sight yesterday night. The poo was bright dark green. The exact colour of the java moss in the tank. Meaning to say, the fish ate the moss. At least some moss. Then why is it not eating FOOD? Sheesh. I've extinguished all my options. It better start eating soon...

10 Questions

2005-10-18T20:29:00.000+08:00

Why are summaries so insanely troublesome to mark?
Why can't kids write neatly and legibly and not cause incessant headaches?
Why do marking days becoming meeting days?
Why is my new puffer not eating and behaving spastically?
Why did my computer mouse and speakers crash consecutively?
Why is it that holidays are so terribly difficult to plan?
Why are air tickets in December so expensive?
Why are my snails taking eternity to grow big?
Why do all big events fall on 12 Nov?
Why are the holidays taking so long to come????

A biting experience

2005-10-17T23:10:00.000+08:00

Today marks the milestone of my life. I trimmed the teeth of a fish. Yes... a FISH. I first noticed that Honey was looking a little like a beaver, with two front teeth protruding, resulting in its inability to shut its mouth. It kept gulping around like a goldfish out of water.

A check with the puffer forum confirmed that Honey required teeth trimming and so "Operation Tooth Trim" was on the go. First, I obtained some clove oil (which is used to reduce pain caused by toothache). Then I fished out two containers, and a pair of small nail clippers. Honey was scooped out of the main tank, and placed into a small container. Before I could do anything, it decided to test its high jump skills and landed on the table top. It started to puff in air. I panicked. Tried to gently push it back into the net. Failed. It puffed in more air. I puffed in air as well. Succeeded in pushing it back into the net. Told myself... THE END.... Held it at half level in the water and THANK GOD, it managed to de-puff itself.

Calmed myself down for 5 minutes, and let the fish calm down as well. I'm not sure who was more traumatised actually. Dropped 3 drops of clove oil into the container of water. The fish didn't seem to have a reaction. Still swam around. Waited..... swam slower, but still moving. Added more clove oil. It started to spit water... started to flip over a little, but still moving. Anyway, when it was about 80% anaethesized, I procceeded to do the manual teeth trimming job with a clipper. It feels totally WEIRD to be trimming a fish's teeth. I'm in no hurry to do it again.

But like I just said to a few people, I'm the QUEEN!! I succeeded! Hahaha.. though perhaps yes, the trauma was not worth the achievement. But Honey did seem happier. It's in a "quarantine" tank (aka large goldfish bowl) now, free from the hungry glances of Wasabi. Shall monitor it for a few more days. Hopefully it starts eating...

Honey Honey...

2005-10-16T21:52:00.000+08:00

I just acquired a new puffer! Yayness! It's the puffer that I was combing Singapore for before I even got my tank -- the South American Puffer. I gave up cos all my sources told me that Singapore does not have such a puffer, and settled for the irrubesco instead. I was at Qian Hu today, shopping for a concubine for Wasabi, and didn't find any. But instead, I found the South American Puffer! It was such a beauty, the only one available. Couldn't resist it and bought it. It was half an impulse buy, but according to literature, it can live with my irrubescos, so let's just hope.

It's still kinda stressed now, especially after it was attacked by Wasabi. Wasabi was a total tyrant today, attacking everyone in the tank. Probably trying to show that it's the boss. The new puffer, named, Honey, is not eating, and is hovering about one spot in the tank. Hopefully it'd improve over the next few days.

It's colours are not at its most brilliant now, but here are one or two pics... Introducing.. HONEY!

The wife finally has a name

2005-10-15T10:23:00.000+08:00

Ok, after being bugged and bugged to give poor Wasabi's wife a name, she finally has a name. I was deciding between four names actually -- Ginger (Vick's suggestion), Soyasauce (colleague's suggestion), Sushi and Popcorn. Mom was against all of them. She preferred her own names of "Chou Chou" for Wasabi and "Cute Cute" for the wife. *sigh*

Anyway, after some thought, the female is named "Shoyu". Shoyu is the Japanese word for soya sauce. The name is suggested by sMonster, who got the Japanese translation of soya sauce from Mark. The suggestor felt that it was a suitable name for the female fish, and the translator felt that it was kinda cute. After mulling over it for a night, I decided that Shoyu did sound pretty cute.... cuter than Soyasauce. For those who don't know, Wasabi is mixed with Soyasauce before being eaten with sashimi or sushi.

So if I do get another wife for Wasabi, she will be called Sushi.... or maybe Ginger. Here are some more couple lovey dovey pics. Unfortunately, he just tried to nip her tail again this morning, because she tried to steal his food.

Finding your highest purpose

2005-10-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

Written by: Michael D. Warden

God has designed each of us to fulfill a unique purpose in the world. Deep inside, we know this - or at the very least, we suspect it. But if that is true, why do you suppose so few of us are clear about exactly what our unique purpose is? Why are so many of us struggling to uncover God's plan for our lives?

I believe part of the problem is that we have been wrongly informed that God's purpose for our lives is lurking somewhere "out there," totally separate from us or our own desires. But when it comes to defining the core of who you are and the unique calling God has called you to fulfill, the answer may actually be as close as your own heart. For the essence of the unique purpose God has designed you to fulfill has already been imprinted there - in the deep desire of your true heart.

"This longing is the most powerful part of any human personality," wrote John Eldredge and the late Brent Curtis in their classic book, "The Sacred Romance." "It fuels our search for meaning, for wholeness, for a sense of being truly alive. However we may describe this deep desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hearts, the passion of our life. And the voice that calls to us in this place is none other than the voice of God."

But if that desire is in fact God's voice speaking, we don't always recognize it as such. At least, not at first. In the beginning, we may experience that desire more as an itch we cannot scratch, or the distant dull ache of a hunger we cannot seem to satisfy. As it grows over time, it may begin to feel threatening or even dangerous - because of its reckless disregard for the status quo. We know that if we followed the deepest and truest desires of our hearts, our world would be turned absolutely upside down.

But what if that "dangerous" desire was actually God's whisper in your heart, urging you to step out and reach for a holy calling that's bigger and more true than the life you have lived so far? If you said yes to that desire, how would your life be different? How would you be different?

Even if you do say yes to that desire, there is still the confusing matter of determining the best way to pursue the journey to your bigger life. After all, God made each of us different. And the path He designed for one person may not be the same as the path He lays out for another. So where can you begin to seek God's specific path for you?

1. Begin with the Word of God. The Bible provides the foundational guidelines for all of our journeys. In his book, "The Purpose Driven Life," Rick Warren wisely encourages purpose-seekers to begin their quest in the Word. "We can turn to what God has revealed about life in His Word," writes Warren. "The easiest way to discover the purpose of an invention is to ask the creator of it. The same is true for discovering your life's purpose: Ask God."

2. Take a look at what's already working. Recognize areas where you're already living at your best. Those are great places to anchor the "bigger vision" of the life Christ is calling you to live, because they are easy to identify and build upon. Let's say you love working with the children at your church, and notice that you come alive and are genuinely at your best when you are with them. That's an area that's already working well in your life. How might you expand or deepen that experience? How might you step into it more fully?

3. Look at the areas that aren't working. Be honest about how those unsatisfying aspects of your life are impacting you. But whatever you do, don't beat yourself up about it. Instead, be compassionate and accepting of your own humanity in your journey thus far. This is important, because it's only from that place of compassionate acceptance that you can really get honest about what's not working in your life, and start imagining what's possible.

4. Go deep into your heart, and dream with God. What do you really want for your life? What's the big gift He's called you to bring to the world? If you were actively pursuing in every way the life God has created you to live, what would you be doing? Who would be with you? How would the people around you describe your impact on their lives? When you are at your best, who are you?

Invite your most trusted allies in to this process too. Dream together about the possibilities - openly and without judgment. Talk about what God's calling might actually look like for you and explore the possible paths to get you from where you are to where He's calling you to be.

5. Identify one or more areas you genuinely want to explore in pursuit of the life God is calling you to live. In order to experience that "bigger vision" of who God has called you to be, you have to consciously choose it for yourself as well. God will not force His plan on you. You have to make a sincere, authentic decision to take action.

Love potion number 101

2005-10-14T18:09:00.000+08:00

Love is definitely brewing.. in my tank. I had two otos in my tank originally. A skeleton was discovered on Monday, and so the other oto lived alone. It was still working hard, cleaning the algae off the walls of the tank, but was not efficient enough. So today, I bought another one from the shop across my place.

Results? Well, the two otos spent the entire afternoon in courtship dances, "flying" around the entire tank. They'd settle "cuddling" up beside each other, before starting another dance. Obviously, NO WORK WAS DONE. :( Sheesh!!! To think I bought another oto so that the algae could get cleared up.

So great, now I've two couples in my tank. Oto babies anyone?

Fishy marital bliss

2005-10-12T22:11:00.000+08:00

Wasabi is free!! He's living with his wife now. I released him in the afternoon, armed with a net, prepared to put him back in his rightful place if he should attack. Not surprisingly, the female swam into the separator net when I lowered it into the water. Think she misses her old home. Wasabi attacked her whilst she was in the net, but once both swam out, he more or less left her alone. She even swam near him, and he just ignores her. Good sign.

Feeding was a problem though. The girl fought with Wasabi for food. She would swim over and grab the worm from his mouth, resulting in him trying to nip her. :( Wonderful.... otherwise they're ok.

PS: I just build her a new home in a log... :) Here are some photos. She is still.. NAMELESS. Suggestions?

Introducing... the wife

2005-10-10T23:07:00.000+08:00

I've finally gotten pics of Wasabi's wife. Meaning to say, she's now out in the big tank, roaming around. Unfortunately, since Wasabi hasn't been the gentleman to his wife, he is now in the small separator net, poking around, utterly miserable and trying to get himself out. If he behaves, I'll try to let him out in a few days. I've made a few enemies (including my mom) since I encaged him in the small separator net, and have been called names such as "cruel" and "mean". Oh well.... my mom's biased. She likes the boy. :(

Checking out the new quarters

Looking pretty

Amongst plants

Looking at its old home

Taking the plunge

2005-10-06T22:18:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when one sits on something for too long, one loses all the nerve to act on it. That's usually how I act. Been sitting on a decision since January this year. Sheesh... and have been finding loads of excuses not to act on it.

Finally, after speaking to some people and hitting myself on the head I've resolved to start to get it settled. Woo hoo! The feeling is good. I'm disciplined afterall... *self-praise* A load of the shoulders...

Ecclesiastes 4

2005-10-05T23:24:00.000+08:00

1 Then I returned and considered all the oppression that is done under the sun: And look! The tears of the oppressed, But they have no comforter-- On the side of their oppressors there is power, But they have no comforter. 2 Therefore I praised the dead who were already dead, More than the living who are still alive. 3 Yet, better than both is he who has never existed, Who has not seen the evil work that is done under the sun.

4 Again, I saw that for all toil and every skillful work a man is envied by his neighbor. This also is vanity and grasping for the wind. 5 The fool folds his hands And consumes his own flesh. 6 Better a handful with quietness Than both hands full, together with toil and grasping for the wind.

7 Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun: 8 There is one alone, without companion: He has neither son nor brother. Yet there is no end to all his labors, Nor is his eye satisfied with riches. But he never asks, "For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good?" This also is vanity and a grave misfortune. 9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

13 Better a poor and wise youth Than an old and foolish king who will be admonished no more. 14 For he comes out of prison to be king, Although he was born poor in his kingdom. 15 I saw all the living who walk under the sun; They were with the second youth who stands in his place. 16 There was no end of all the people over whom he was made king; Yet those who come afterward will not rejoice in him. Surely this also is vanity and grasping for the wind.

Sorry, you've to wait for your wife to grow up

2005-10-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

That's pretty much what I'd have to tell Wasabi I think. He seems overly interested in the female still, hovering below the net, poking his little face into the net whenever she goes near the net. Flaring its tail underneath the net. The female will flee over to the otherside of the net when he starts his poking assault on the net. To top it all, he steals her food through the holes in the net. So much for being a "gentlefish".

Well the expert advises that I keep the wife in the net for a prolonged period of time, until she grows up. Sounds so much like those ancient China shows where the bride has to wait for the little boy to grow up, except that now the gender roles are reversed. So I guess the ugly white net is here to stay in the tank. I really don't like it in there. It makes cleaning difficult, and it destroys the beauty of the tank. Worse, it restricts the freedom of the female! Why should the female be in the net! I should throw Wasabi into the net instead. Humph.

Ok... let's hope that the wife grows up faster, and hopefully she can be free to roam the tank soon. Maybe, a few months? :(

Wasabi has a wife

2005-10-01T23:02:00.000+08:00

Wasabi has a wife finally!! Hip hip hurray! (Special thanks to sMonster, I'll make sure Wasabi gives you a few of his favourite bloodworms...) Introducing her to the tank proved to be more troublesome than I initially thought. While she was still in the baggie, Wasabi swam immediately to the baggie and stared at it for a long while before... ATTACKING!!! The female swam around frantically in her bag. So much for first impressions. Point to note is that the female is about half the size of the male now. Hopefully it won't be seen as food, or enemy. Puffs are supposed to be territorial.

After settling her down in her separator net, Wasabi hovered underneath the net for awhile, but didn't attack. Hopefully that's a good sign. She ate quite abit, which is quite a relieve considering Wasabi spent three days fasting when he first arrived in his new home. Maybe females can adapt better than males. Hee hee...

The dangers of dating in your mind

2005-09-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

Nope I didn't write this article. It's another one of those mass forwarded stuff which I find a good read. So young ladies out there who do read my blog (ok guys as well), here's some food for thought. :)
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Here's a typical conversation between two single women:

"So how did it go with [insert guy's name here] the other night?"

"Oh, it was great! It was just the two of us. He picked me up, treated me like a queen. We really clicked. It felt like a date! We had a blast."

It felt like a date. That's a phrase that should set off all kinds of alarm bells among single women. If it "feels" like a date, then no one has said it's a date. It's just two friends hanging out, but one of them wants more. In this scenario, the problem is that while the man may be clear in his own mind about his intentions ("just friends"), the woman is not. She's hoping for more or "dating him in her mind."

This may seem like a harmless distraction, but it's really not.

I have a friend who once observed that our interactions with men should be like a peanut butter sandwich. No one likes to eat a sandwich where the peanut butter is all clumped up in one corner. We like our peanut butter to be evenly spread around. "So, honey, don't get all clumped up in one corner, distracted by one guy," she said. "Spread yourself around! Let him get clumped up around you!" We had a good laugh at that, but there's much truth in this homespun advice. Because our churches often provide the context to get to know single men as friends, we women can start investing more significance in these interactions than is wise. We get all "clumped up" around one guy -- until he says something or does something to make us realize he's not going to pursue. Then comes the disappointment.

In our defense, I have observed when men go through all the motions of dating without declaring their intentions. I've seen men "try on" certain women and then fade away if there wasn't enough spark to attract them to pursue. I've seen men hang out with women for years as extremely good friends, seemingly oblivious to the potential there, while the women struggle to guard their emotions and expectations. While I think we can become wiser about evaluating the men in these situations (which we'll look at next time), all things start with our own hearts. Because I've been "clumped up" far more often than I'd like to admit, I've learned to discern the symptoms of this tendency in my life. Here are some questions I ask myself whenever I think I'm starting to "date someone in my mind":

* Do I talk about him a lot to other people?
* If these other people don't share my enthusiasm, and even caution me to not cultivate expectations, do I feel deflated and resent their input?
* Am I going to this event or meeting primarily because he will be there?
* Am I distracted in church or small-group meetings because of his presence?
* Do I break other commitments because he's invited me to do something spontaneously?
* If he doesn't talk to me or single me out at events, do I go home disappointed?
* Am I jealous of the women he does talk to or serve?
* If he declines one of my invitations, am I tempted to feel rejected?
* When he does pay attention to me, am I so oriented to him in a group setting that I don't consider the needs of others around me?

When we get stuck in a man's orbit like this, typically we're laying claims and forming attachments that are deadly to our spiritual growth and witness. Because these attachments are one-sided, when the relationship doesn't occur in the way or time that we want we usually respond sinfully.

Paul Tripp, author and biblical counselor, explains the pitfalls of this continuum in this way - desire leads to demand, which re-labels itself as a "need" and leads to expectation of fulfillment, which, when unmet, leads to disappointment, and thus ends in punishment. As he writes, "The objects of most of our desires are not evil. The problem is the way they tend to grow, and the control they come to exercise over our hearts. Desires are a part of human existence, but they must be held with an open hand. ... The problem with desire is that in sinners it very quickly morphs into demand ('I must'). Demand is the closing of my fists over a desire. Even though I may be unaware that I have done it, I have left my proper position of submission to God. I have decided that I must have what I have set my heart on and nothing can stand in the way. I am no longer comforted by God's desire for me; I am threatened by it, because God's will potentially stands in the way of my demand. ... There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations."

When I first read that diagnosis (in his book "Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands"), I was stunned. That's exactly what happens when I "date someone in my mind"! One sentence in particular screamed from the page: "There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations." These are self-induced dings to our hearts! Even more seriously, these acts are seeds we are sowing to future conflict in our own marriages. No husband will meet all of our desires, so we should learn to protect our own hearts and minds in Christ Jesus by not indulging this cycle of idolatry.

So how do we change? Here's something I've been meditating on over the past year. The secret is in the worth of a woman with noble character. The Bible says she is "more precious than jewels." Jewels aren't out on the store's front counter for every passerby to carelessly handle. Precious jewels are guarded in the vault, and are only brought out for consideration by a buyer who has demonstrated serious intentions and the wherewithal to purchase. Costume jewelry attracts casual inspection - and lots of it - by its cheap presentation. But because it's not seen as valuable, it's not treated as such.

We don't have to put our affections and ourselves on display. We can trust our heavenly Father to ward off the casual shoppers and only bring those with serious intentions to consider us. But you need to know that this will mean some "vault time." While you're in the dark, wondering when - and if - you will have a chance to sparkle for an appreciative buyer, you'll be tested. During this time, keep in mind these three reminders:

* Prayer: Take your petitions to God, for He's the only one who can change a man's heart, and this brings His peace to guard our own hearts.
* Pursuit: It's not our job as women. Instead, we should have the joy of being pursued.
* Prevent Disappointment: Check yourself before you head down the slippery slope of desires, demands and expectations that Paul Tripp outlined. When you find your fist closing over good desires and making them demands, stop. Open that clenched fist and hold that desire up in prayer (see point one again).

We have to be very careful about guarding our own hearts. This is a wisdom issue. More importantly, it's a worship issue. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is not to be able to hand our husbands a relatively unscathed heart on our wedding day, as important as that is. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is to preserve our trusting dependence on God with a peaceful spirit, whether we get married or not. It's to keep a Scriptural imperative: "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life" (Proverbs 4:23).

Takes a little time

2005-09-26T08:43:00.000+08:00

This is a song by Amy Grant. Heard it on radio this morning and somehow it just sounded very meaningful. So here are the lyrics...
---------------------------------------
It takes a little time sometimes
To get your feet back on the ground
It takes a little time sometimes
To get the titanic turned back around
It takes a little time sometimes
But baby you're not going down
It takes more than you've got right now
Give it time

What's this walking thru my door
I know I've seen the look before
Sometimes in faces on the street
Sometimes in the mirror looking back at me
You can't fix this pain with money
You can't rush a weary soul
You can't sweep it under the rug, now honey
It don't take a lot to know
(chorus)

Now it may not be over by morning
But rome wasn't built in a day
You can name this thing a thousand times
But it won't make it go away
Let me put my arms around you
And hold you while you weep
We've been talking and talking
I'm sick of this talk
And it's nothing that won't keep
(chorus)

No you can't fix this pain with money
You can't rush a weary soul
You can't sweep it under the rug now honey
It don't take a lot to know
(chorus)

The bane of expectations

2005-09-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

I've finally identified the one common cause for all the headaches recently -- EXPECTATIONS. The bane of that word. Like I was telling a friend, we all have expectations. Whether we vocalize it or not, we cannot help but have expectations of other people. But often, it's these very expectations that destroys relationships and cause many problems. The solution? Surrenderedness. Does that mean that expectations are all bad? I don't know. Perhaps not.

Perhaps I've been in a morose mood lately. Or I've just been in a thinking mood. I guess lately, it just seems that most news and happenings seem to add to disappointment. Disappointment in people. The common question that plaques my mind is,"Why are they doing this?" Then it dawned on me that perhaps, it's because these people didn't meet the expectations that I had for them. It's all the same -- kids, friends, family, the list goes on.

Many a times, the disappointment comes from decisions made by other people. Even though the decisions do not affect me personally, and I am not hurt by them, I'm sometimes disappointed. Perhaps it's best summed up in a statement I told a friend, "Sometimes, I just thought that they'd be wiser. At least, I had always thought that they were wise and mature but...."

At work, it's very much the same. Expectations of students. Not met. Frustration and impatience sets in, and I've often got to stop and reflect.

Point of it all? Are expectations all bad? Maybe when they're not communicated... then they become a problem. I guess, I should just have no expectations for anyone at all. In that way, one won't be upset. But is this ever possible? The debate rages on...

Missionary Dating?

2005-09-23T15:23:00.000+08:00

This is an article I received in my email. Thought it was quite interesting. Some food for thought. :). It's written by Kris Swiatocho.
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There I was, standing at the entrance of my church for the zillionth time. Waiting for Bob, or maybe it was John or it could have been Dave. It didn't matter because there seemed to be a pattern - a pattern where I would meet this great guy, and he would tell me "Sure, I go to church," which, of course, was enough information for me to date him.

I would arrive at church early, eagerly waiting to have him join me, when much to my repeated surprise he wouldn't show. There would be other times when he would show, but be late, bored and distracted.

When was I going to figure it out? How many guys would I date in the hopes of either getting them "saved" or "walking right" with God? How long was it going to take for me to listen to God?

Hey, as a single adult myself, I know it's hard to find someone. It seems you have to kiss a lot of frogs, and then you still don't find the right one. I have heard all the stories, not to mention I have a few of my own. "He told me he was a believer." "He goes to church every Sunday." "At least he isn't bad person." "He grew up in church." "I know if I can just be the example, he will change." Are there any I am missing here?

I know of the desperation. Desperation that blinds us. Desperation that allows us to settle. Desperation that lies to us. Desperation that causes us to lose judgment. I know you get tired of waiting on God. Some of you haven't even begun to wait, while others may have given up.

... that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. 1 Peter 4:2

Five Levels of Missionary Dating

I have personally been through the all the levels listed below. I am sure there may be many more or less based on your own experience. I guess I have always known in my heart that any guy who didn't love God, didn't put Christ first and wasn't growing in his faith by the evidence of his fruit is someone I shouldn't date. However, I did anyway.

As each relationship unfolded, there would be a pattern. These men weren't pushing me toward Christ, but instead pulling me away. It would take some time - even a few years - before I would get it. I would have to experience all the levels to truly understand. So what level have you experienced? Perhaps you are at one of these right now and are struggling with giving him up -- with giving the relationship to God.

* LEVEL 1
You have had one date. I mean, one date won't hurt anyone. I need a life, you know. It's nice to have a man take you out, spend money on you, and tell you you're pretty. However, the whole time you are talking with him at dinner, sharing about your life, your dreams, how many kids you want one day and your relationship with God, he is looking at the waitresses. You are at the point of unbelief. You have wasted yet another night of your life with the wrong guy, just hoping that your relationship with God would be enough for the both of you. It's not. You give him to God. God takes him out of your life.

* LEVEL 2
You have a few dates. He seems nice. You invite him to church on Sunday. You end up in a lengthy conversation about God. This intrigues you because he seems interested IN God. But after a few more dates you realize that he is interested in God because you are. You realize that he is interested in all kinds of gods. You know he needs to go. You give him to God even though he has the coolest convertible. God takes him out of your life.

* LEVEL 3
You've been dating for a month. You don't know each other that well yet. Yes, you have probably kissed him already. He seems to want to move faster in the romance department than you would like. You confront him about what God says, and he tells you that if you cared about him, you would show it. Oh my gosh, you're here again. It's sounding familiar. His walk doesn't match his talk. Thankfully you haven't dated him very long. However, you went farther physically then you should have. You were just so lonely, and he filled that part of your heart. At least you thought he had. You finally give him to God. God takes him out of your life.

* LEVEL 4
You've been dating for a couple of months, you're having fun and things aren't too serious. He told you he grew up in church but some of his behavior isn't Christ-like. You confront him about some of his choices. You don't like his answers. You know he needs to go, but you keep hoping. Finally you give him to God. God takes him out of your life.

* LEVEL 5
You've been dating three to four months; it's a time in your relationship where you know if it's love or not. At the start, he told you he was in church. However, you haven't seen any real commitment or growth in Christ. You keep thinking he will change, but he doesn't. Your heart is breaking because you thought he was "the one." You finally give him to God. God takes him out of your life.

So, I guess I was a missionary dater. I seemed to be on a mission to get guys "saved," "walking with God" and "growing in their faith." So what is wrong with that? I mean, we are supposed to witness and help lead others to Christ, right?

So everywhere we go, we tell everyone about Christ. We warn them and teach them with all the wisdom God has given us, for we want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ. Colossians 1:28

God calls each of us alone. We can not "save" anyone. We can only help lead them to Christ. Each person is responsible for his own life with Christ. Each person will go before the Father alone.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. John 3:6-18

God calls each of us into a relationship with Him. It is a relationship that is about our journey with Christ, our growth and our maturity.

So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God -- all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God. Romans 5:11

Why Can't I Witness While Dating?

Here is the problem. God warns us when we join ourselves with those not walking with God, (those who don't believe, those who might even say they believe but their lives show otherwise), we take the risk that they may pull us away from God and the purpose he has for our lives. It's much easier to pull someone down from up high than it is for us to pull someone up from lower down. It is for our protection that God commands us to not be unequally yoked.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial. What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people." "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. 2 Corinthians 6:14-17

The goal should always be to be equally yoked. By having Christ as the center of our relationships, He becomes the model for our lives. He gives us our direction and our purpose. He teaches us to love each other unconditionally. When things go wrong, we can go to Christ together to get help. If you are the only believer in your relationship, how can you both work toward Christ's purpose in your lives?

Does This Mean I Can't Have "Lost" Friends?

Of course not; it is through our relationships with the lost that we might help lead them to Christ. But when we start dating the lost, our emotions get all tied up, distracting us and we easily fall into temptation.

On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. Matthew 9:12

And it doesn't mean that there aren't some people out there who got married when one was not a believer, then after several years the spouse became a Christian. And because this happened, that we shouldn't rejoice. But just think of the years they missed serving the Lord together by not being equally yoked.

It's is God's purpose for us to reach others for Christ. This means that every person you meet and get to know needs to be considered for His purpose and not yours -- that every person of the opposite sex should be an opportunity for reaching out, nurturing and/or encouraging them in Christ. Some guys are going to church, reading their Bibles and even growing, however, they may still be very young in their walks with God. Come along side them and help them, pray for them, care for them, encourage friendships with other men and help lead them to Christ before you attempt to date. And even then, take the time necessary to watch for growth and see fruit. Allow God to tell you the next step.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

I believe as we truly seek God's will in our lives, in our friendships and relationships - becoming the right person before we meet the right person - we will be given what we need. We just need to trust God that He knows what we need.

NOTE: Men, take extra caution. In general, males feel the need to rescue women. What is better than to meet a woman who needs you to lead her? However, God's Word is the same for us all: be equally yoked.